Sin's Remorse
by WaitingForTheStars
Summary: Our memories are held within our innocence. But that’s the funny thing, because our innocence seems to fade away far before our memories have a chance to. [SK]
1. A Subtle Apathy

Sin's Remorse  
Default

_There is an innocence that is locked deep within everyone. It is a virtue that is nothing but pure, nothing but good. It gives all that it is able and asks for nothing in return. It longs only to heal and to love. Sometimes, we take it for granted; we take too much and offer too little. Sometimes we forget about it, we allow it to reside in shadows. We tend to forget. We deny, deny, deny, but that doesn't stop it from being true. There will always be compassion. At the end of the road, it is all that anyone truly has. There is a light; even within the deepest of darknesses there is a light. Sometimes, we just have to search a little harder to find it. _

Kairi sat at her desk before the large window that overlooked the beach below. The horizon stretched out over forever across an endless sky that seemed only to bleed, dripping warm colors into the calm sea. Tonight, the sunset seemed dimmer than usual. The sun cast out rays of deep, velvet purple and dusky mauve, overtaking the common reds and oranges. Kairi sighed as she eyed the old piece of paper before her. It was tinged an off-white shade, probably from a constant contact with the sun. It was slightly wrinkled and torn around the edges. Kairi stared down at it menacingly, as if she were about to tear it into a thousand pieces and cast the shards out to sea. She didn't, however, and just continued staring. The tight, twisted cursive danced before her eyes. The dark ink had faded into the tan parchment and had turned an almost sepia shade. The handwriting wasn't difficult to read, she had read it many times, but the more times she read it, the harder it became to finish. She couldn't understand it; it was just a silly letter. It meant nothing. Kairi sighed and let her eyes go to the top of the page where she began to read it again.

_Kairi,_

_You know, I never meant to write this. I don't know why I did, actually. I guess its just God making me do weird things again. Well, anyway… Remember that time, it was a few years ago, I think… I asked you if it was possible to be in love with someone even if they weren't in love with _you_. You asked me if I was in love with you, then. I told you that you were crazy, of course, thinking that you had suspected something by my question. I was eleven then, I wasn't supposed to know what love was. Anyway… I've been thinking about that lately. I think that it would be pretty hard to be in love with someone if they weren't also in love with you too. Nevertheless… I never did answer _your_ question. That fateful question that can decide ones fate simply by how they answer it. I think you asked me that so we could figure out the answer to my question, right? I get it now… Because, you were never in love with me, Kairi, you said that once. I remember. You said that we were friends and that you _loved_ me as your friend. Anyway… Considering this, _you_ are not in love with _me_. But answering your question, Kairi, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes… _I_ am in love with _you_. Damn it. Why am I writing this in pen? God, Kairi, I have been in love with since I was four stinking years old! Anyway… I have answered my question, and I just thought you'd like to know… I'm going to go rip this letter up now. See you later._

_-Sora_

Kairi stared blankly at the page. All the memories that this letter used to summon have faded away with each passing moment. She could no longer see Sora's innocent form crinkling the letter up and hiding it beneath his mattress. She could no longer see herself, beside him, as children; playing in the secret cave the night he asked her that very question. She could not feel his bright sapphire eyes piercing through her. She could no longer feel the way she felt when he first told her that he loved her, that also being the last time as well. She could not hear or see or feel the words he whispered softly in her ear, the eyes that held her back, and the hands that calmed her trembling body. He was naught but a faded memory now, hardly a memory at all. His voice seldom sang within her mind, the voice that had held her for so many years. That same voice that had cradled her weary head in its very hands. He was not, could not possibly be gone.

Kairi rose from her desk and took the ruffled piece of parchment in her hands. She glared at it; she tore it in pieces with her blazing eyes. With one swift motion she crumpled it into a ball and cast it out her open window. She did not watch as it fell to the ground below. She turned, anger filling her body, facing her pale, crimson wall. The colors of the early sunset reflected off its, usually, pale surface. She glared and she thought. She thought with all her being, trying to resurface every memory she had of him. There were pieces, small pieces; a smile, and a forgotten promise, the feeling of her body wrapped securely in his arms. No, no… these were not her memories, this was her fantasy. Kairi let out a loud and aggressive sigh as she turned to the door, her long, auburn hair whipping around her back. She hurled her wooden desk chair to the side, knocking it to the ground, and bolted out of her room. She ran like lightning down her staircase and out her front door. There she stopped, observing her surroundings. A harsh wind swept across her, playing with her skirt. She took no mind to the biting sting that burnt her tender skin. Her eyes caught the tiny ball of parchment as it rolled along the grass before her. She grinned and hurriedly chased after it. Just as if the paper were tied to a string and being pulled by someone who seemed to be playing a twisted game of "catch" with Kairi, the ball flew away from her, over towards the street. Kairi grunted and chased further after it. It was irritating, the closer she got to it, the more it rolled away. It was like the worst cliché from her deepest and darkest nightmares. She would not play this game. Kairi stopped and watched the paper float away in the breeze along the beach that she was now standing upon.

"It's a stupid old piece of parchment. It means nothing… It means nothing"Kairi repeated to herself as she refused to move. _It's the only connection you have to him, Kairi. You want to remember… Don't you?_ Kairi's eyes grew wide.

"It's a damn piece of paper! If a stupid yellow fruit can't connect people, than how can a dumb piece of parchment!" Kairi exclaimed. She hated this. Her conscience. It always had a twisted way of playing with her. _He promised that he'd come back… Does that mean nothing to you now?_ Kairi grew furious. She pulled at her hair in frustration.

"No… It means nothing," Kairi mumbled lightly. She looked out over the dusky horizon. "He's never coming back," she stated, decisively. "He is never coming back!" she exclaimed at the top of her lungs, falling to her knees hysterically. "What's the damn point in having memories when there's no one here to share them with?" she questioned insanely as she felt a warm liquid surface at the rims of her eyes. It was useless. "_I'll always be with you_," mimicked Kairi angrily as she almost began to laugh at the insanity of the moment. "_I'll always be with you,_ yeah, so where the fucking hell are you know, Sora, huh?" Kairi shouted with forceful anguish. She fell silent, nothing to be heard but her forcing sobs drowned out by the polyphonic ocean waves, slow waves that gently caressed the shore with ease and soaked through the warm, moist sand that melted in the streaming colors of the sunset. She wept, spilling years of shallow remorse onto the sandy ground below.

_Our memories are held within our innocence. But that's the funny thing, because our innocence seems to fade away far before our memories have a chance to. There's a difference, however. One can spend their entire life trying to bring back their innocence, trying to deny all that has burdened their thoughts and dried out their hearts in their life and never succeed. Yet, those who seek nothing but their memories and drown in their past may never truly live, but they find sanctity. They find what everyone is truly looking for. They find peace. _


	2. Desired Innocence

:AN: Updates! –cheers- I suck at angst. Sorry. This chapter doesn't fit my genres and it's short, but please don't shoot me.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter two

The day felt like an arbitrary twist of reality mixed with a tight blend of shallow desire. She could feel it saunter in with the warm, morning breeze as it swept her long, auburn hair off of her bare shoulders. Kairi felt somewhat forbidden, if that could even begin to describe the emotions that ran through her on this particular day. Yes, forbidden is a good word. She sat somberly in her night attire awaiting the arrival of her post, as she did ever morning out on the front step of her porch. It was ritual. She sighed longingly, picking at the peeling, cream-colored paint on the busted-up railing to her right. It creaked slightly as Kairi pressed a finger against it. She sighed again.

Now, if you are an intelligent intellectual, which I am sure you are, then you should probably know that mail does not usually arrive before ten o'clock on most normal days. Five o'clock in the morning is certainly much too early to be anticipating such an arrival. It was bizarre, and perhaps a bit creepy, how Kairi would sit outside on that step for so long. Though, it wasn't like she was expecting an important letter or package. She hardly even received mail in the first place. Her persistent insomnia kept her constantly awake, allowing her to sleep for no more than an hour or two at a time and she found nothing better to do. Watching the sunrise usually seemed to calm her. She would sit, staring out over the horizon, pondering her thoughts, listening to the waking birds as they sang their teeming songs. It was good for her, regardless of all the time it left her to her own twisted thoughts, it was good. There were worse things; of course, that she could be doing that one must take into account. Anyway. She sat, she listened, she felt. It may not seem like much, but it was hers; the morning was hers.

The sun had just begun to rise out over the dark horizon. Pale pinks and violets had already begun to reflect off of the sea's glassy surface. This morning was very calm, almost eerily serene. Even the birds were relaxed, barely even chirping as they flew about. The ravens, which were usually the worst, didn't even seem to be making sound at all. Kairi pursed her lips together and played, suddenly, with a black string that was wrapped and tied in a bow around her ankle. She pulled the loops lightly so that they fell loosely over her uncovered foot. She took a deep breath as her eyes wandered out over the beach, far before her. She felt it call her name. The warm waves that lightly lapped against the shore in the surf seemed to attract her aching feet and the breeze seemed to whisper softly to her, gently leading her over to the smooth sand. Kairi could not resist this longing desire. She rose to her feet and began to walk slowly down her pebbled walkway. She followed it to the street and hopped across the cool tar, reaching her destination within moments.

The beach had always felt forbidden to her, as if she were not allowed to walk across its sanctified surface. She was not good enough. Perchance it was too good. Regardless, she sauntered on. She did not like this feeling, a feeling of ill welcome. Ever since her childhood she had felt this way. She hated the beach, the sea, and the sunrise. She wanted to leave it, get as far away as she possibly could. Though, somehow, she knew that she could never escape. As long as she was still able to think, she knew, she could never forget. It was this beach that she longed for so deeply that it hurt. She hated it so much that she could not live without its sinful temptation. This was her prison.

Kairi walked out slowly across the sand. She loved the feeling of its softness against her sore toes, the way it seemed to cradle her weary feet; so warm. She walked out further for a while, just trailing on, watching the surf as it kissed the shore so tenderly. She moved closer to it, allowing the cool waves to crash against her ankles and wash over her sandy feet. The sun slowly rose higher, casting a golden light over the entire world. It was dim, but it washed everything with a sense of peaceful harmony. Its composure seemed to blend together perfectly this morning. There were no contrasts, except of course for her. She did not fit in the picture. If the beach were some sacred heaven then Kairi appeared to be a demon, crossing over into an unwelcoming and hallow territory. She dementedly enjoyed the feeling it gave her. It made her feel powerful, twistedly intoxicating, like it was a sin, but she could do it, therefore it was great.

Yet, Kairi considered herself, still, to be no older than eleven. The way the sun seemed to seep through her, washing everything she had ever known away. She was eleven again. She was the contrast, yet, it was a balanced contrast. She seemed to blend in entirely, oddly enough. There was a distinct pureness about this morning that seemed to bleed into Kairi's soul and she felt it. The sudden feeling of remembered innocence overwhelmed her and she stopped, closing her eyes for a moment. A clean grin surfaced at her lips as her deep violet eyes reopened, staring out in wonder. She headed back up the seaside, out of the surf and into the middle of the beach. She spun herself down and sat, her legs stretched out before her as she dug her hands deep in the warm sand.

The dawn was radiant as warm tones spilled over the horizon. An aura of pale pink and deep gold was cast around everything that remained uncovered by the drifting night. The sun was cast straight before her, shedding a warm and purifying heat onto her unburdened form. Kairi grinned as her newfound innocence spread over her face. She sighed lightly.

She had wandered down the beach so far that her house was no longer in sight. In fact, no longer was any sign of civilized humanity in prospect. She closed her eyes lightly and shifted her weight over, letting herself fall onto her back. Her long, auburn hair ran out around her, slipping over her shoulders and down behind her exposed back. Her dark crimson, silky nightgown blew slightly in the light breeze. It was a breeze so light that it was nearly impossible to feel. She sighed again, taking in the sweet smell of morning.

Kairi was in her late teens; she had lost count over the long, tiresome years. Seventeen seemed reasonable enough, perhaps almost eighteen. Time seemed only to just slip away these days, simply without notice or much care. She had made a promise, a promise to herself. She didn't want to count the minutes until her savior came back to rescue her from this hollow life that she now lived. She had also promised herself that she would not cry nor fall into any unnecessary depression, though some things we really cannot handle. Anyway. It had been nearly four years now, four years of tormenting sorrow. By now, Kairi felt as though she had been waiting for a thousand eternities. Every moment that had passed felt like a month, if that. Her heart beat with the hour. Her mindless suffering only grew worse as the days passed. Everyone told her that it would get easier; they told her that she would move on. It never struck them that maybe she was different, maybe she didn't want to forget. Maybe she tried, but she couldn't. Maybe… Maybe legends are more than just stories made up to entertain children and lonely adults…

Kairi sighed and rolled over, staring out across the beach's surface, resting her head gently on the hot sand. She winced against the sun's sudden profusion. She blinked and kept her eyelids shut; sleep pulling at her weary body. The warmth washed over her so cleanly that she felt as though she was wrapped up in the protecting arms of someone dear to her. The only sound came from the gentle waves as they crashed down upon the surf. It was a simple solace.

It's strange, how a small change of setting can bring so much. Kairi, for example, had not spent a single night in the past four years of her life actually sleeping. But now, as the sun rose high into the late morning sky, she was wrapped within a deep and slightly unburdened sleep. It was bizarre. Just as waiting for ones post is slightly more productive than doing such things as slitting ones wrists; sleeping is much more productive than many things such as wasting ones time anticipating the arrive of the mail man. Regardless, Kairi never meant to fall asleep, nor did she mean to sleep for such an extended period of time. It had been nearly three or four hours and still she did not wake. Kairi had never truly meant to even set foot on the beach in the first place. The early morning scenery had always captivated her and, perhaps, thought about meandering down it numerous occasions. She had not meant to stay, but the overwhelming feeling of sinful innocence that it brought her was almost like a longingly anticipated offense. She did not deserve such a convivially warm incident, but she did, however, _need_ one.

* * *

:AN: Sorry, again, for another short chapter. I think the next one will be longer. I'm still mixing ideas… I'm not sure I liked this chapter. It was kind of… bad. I'll try to finish this story… I'll work on it. Review if you'd like. Lei likes to know how you guys feel. But I know, for some bizarre reason, you don't always like to review… Or maybe you just don't like to read her stories. Hmmm… Ponders what would happed if she wrote a SR fic… Sure people like datt. Yuck. Lei promises to never write slash. Never. Only Harry Potter slash because it's funny :). Sorry. I suck at writing angst. This was not angsty at all! I should post my other one. I think I will. You should read it. 


	3. A Lingering Memory

:AN: HAHAHA. Chapter two. I edited it :) If you read the unedited one… then I highly advise you re-read it, because now it is much more enjoyable.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter three

She moaned lightly as consciousness began to overwhelm her mind. She was still in a slight state of unawareness, and was not able to open her eyes, not against the beaming rays of the blinding sun. The light seemed to burn through her shaded eyelids.

"Kairi," came a gentle whisper from close by. Kairi furrowed her brow and slowly opened her eyes in deep confusion. She sat up slightly, leaning back on her elbows. She looked around, still adjusting to the sudden profusion of sunlight that washed over her warm body. In fact, she found herself to be quite hot beneath the nearly noontime sky, wiping a few beads of sweat from her forehead. She studied the area before her, seeing nothing that could have possibly called her name. She fell back drearily, deciding that she must have been hearing it in her still subconscious sleep. She moaned lightly, re-closing her eyes against the bright light, feeling more refreshed than she had in a very long time. She buried her hands into the burning sand, enjoying the feeling of the soft, smooth surface against her skin.

"Kairi…" the same light voice sounded as Kairi drew her eyebrows down in confused frustration. She opened her eyes wearily again and, this time, turned her body around and stared blankly behind her. An overwhelming feeling of déjà vu came over her. She knew this place, she knew it well. This was where she used to spend the endless days of her youth, right here. She hadn't been on this side of island in many long years. Kairi figured that she hadn't noticed how far she had gone this morning. She hadn't been sleeping right and due to that she would fall in and out of states of known reality. She must have missed the fact she had brought herself to the exact place she never wanted to come back to.

It was, in a way, the best and the worst part of the whole island. Worst in the sense that it was so full of faded memories that Kairi could not even begin to sort all the emotions that ran through her mind at this particular instance. It was the best because it was truly a piece of heaven. The sunsets were extraordinary from this beach. It was perfect for spending mindless hours doing aimless things here. Swimming is a good example, the current was always calm. The sand seemed softer here, like silk. There was a large hill set at sands end that seemed to expand up into the clouds from a ground perspective. There was also a large waterfall that spilt down into a small pond. Kairi wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard it; it was small enough where the sound seemed to be drowned out by the ocean's current. Anyway. It somehow seemed to be completely cut off from the rest of the island, like a little peninsula that would, in a few thousand years, become completely detached from the large land mass altogether (sorry about the plate tectonics there).

Kairi smiled lightly as she decided her déjà vu was, in fact, a refreshingly pleasant feeling. Of course the pleasantness was only the silver lining lacing a large rain cloud carrying nothing but anguish and sorrow. Now, the rain did not fall, not just yet. Kairi rose slowly to her feet as she strained her eyes to try and make out anyone who could have been calling her. Her heart raced slightly and she could feel something growing within the pit of her stomach. She knew the voice, though there was a light unfamiliarity to it, but of course she knew it. She denied it, however, telling herself over and over in her mind that it was nothing. It was never anything. Never.

"Come on, Kairi," spoke the voice gently as a light breeze blew through her long, crimson hair, pulling it in silky strands across her back. She was drowning with confusion to such an extent that she was beginning to find it difficult to breath.

"Where are you," she whispered so lightly that she barely heard herself. She looked around. _You know where I am, _ran through Kairi's thoughts. She spun herself around, looking out over the wide sea. It was bizarre, but the sky had turned strangely dark. The sun wasn't burning as brightly, not as it had been moments ago. She turned back around, her eyes instantly being drawn to an overrun area next to the waterfall. Large shrubs and vines grew there, more than she had remembered. Kairi fell completely silent and began to move forward, towards it.

She had not been here in many years, many, but she could never forget its secrets that were hidden deep beneath the surface. She walked up to the especially thick patch of weeds and slowly cleared them aside, revealing a dark passage way. It was very dark and much smaller than she had remembered. She had hadn't grown to be just as high as the entrance, but her head was yet a mere few inches away from the top of the tunnel. Kairi looked down inside, but it was too dark to make anything out. She suddenly let her grasp go on the plants, allowing them to whip back before the entrance. She turned around quickly, gazing out over the sea. It was oddly darker still; the once white, puffy clouds were shaded in dusty gray. A disturbed and almost anxious expression laced her face. Her eyes filled with a kind of unexplainable displeasure.

"Are you coming, Kairi?" questioned the voice. Kairi jumped up as the cool wind whipped across her bare skin. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned around, trying to face where she thought the voice was coming from, but could not make out any particular direction. Shadows washed over her as a large cloud shifted before the sun.

"What do you want? Who are you?" Kairi shouted in agony. She stared at the secret place as she took a few lingering steps backward. There came no sudden response, but she felt something inside of her tell her that her guess was right, that she knew that voice and that she was nothing but correct. Something else inside, however, her overriding force could do nothing but deny. The wind blew sharply against her, pushing her forward. Regardless, the wind felt nice against her hot skin, yet, an eerie coldness washed through the air, a bitterness that Kairi could not explain. She slowly removed the shrubs and vines away from the cavernous tunnel once again. She tried to turn back, but her feet didn't get the message to discontinue motion and she felt herself advance through the dark, cold, stone passageway. She ducked down a little, though the very top of her head was not at all close to brushing up against the tunnel's upper limit. The passage was long and twisted around various corners. Memories of when Kairi was much younger came flooding back into her mind. She remembered coming down her with her friends, usually Sora or Riku. They'd come and they'd play in the security of the inner cave. She would spend hours carving things on the stonewalls and playing games with her companions. The place had always seemed to bring her this unexplainable sense of comfort, yet now, Kairi felt nothing but distressed anxiety and slight, foreboding discomfort as she traveled through the tunnel less traveled. As she reached the end she came upon a large, open, dark, and uncomfortably familiar area. It was hard to see in the dim light. The sunlight from above the hole in the cave's roof was covered by years of overgrowth. Only a single ray dispersed through the treetops, silently lighting it enough for Kairi to make out her way. She gazed at the walls; silly carvings that were, now, incomprehensible filled them up. They were all faded away, forgotten by time, but still there. A small smile laced Kairi's lips as she walked slowly past the front area to the back. She stopped slowly as she noticed one carving in particular. She remembered it well, almost too well. She studied it silently, a thousand memories running through her mind. She reached out a hand and ran her fingers across the scratched surface as she slowly slid down so that her eyes fell straight on the drawing before her. I was clear to see, two people. She had drawn it years ago with Sora, her best friend. They each drew each other's heads staring at one another. That was when Kairi was about ten years old; she remembered it so clearly that it almost frightened her. She could write the most descriptive story recalling every single aspect of that very day from memory. She traced her fingers over Sora's face, the carving she had made. It was just as she had left it, except for one small thing.

"Oh, Sor-" Kairi had begun, but cut her own self off by the ball that was forming in her throat. Sora had added a poupu fruit to the drawing coming from his own hand and offering it out to the image of Kairi. Kairi smiled at it, he must have added it in before… well, four years ago at least. A tear came to her eye as she recalled her dear friend. She could just see him sitting alone in this place, adding it in, the fruit. He had always found the strangest and most secretive ways of expressing his feelings, his feelings towards Kairi, anyway. She traced the fruit with her finger slowly, casting an invisible outline around the star-shaped object.

"Ah, the legend of the poupu fruit…" came that voice, only closer. It echoed off of the cave walls, dancing around Kairi's mind. She knew that voice and found it particularly hard at this point to deny it any longer. Kairi whipped herself around and felt her heart come to a stop. She stared up with a powerfully shocked look upon her face, frightened anguish drowning her expression. The figure smiled down at her, his form hard to make out beneath the darkness in which he stood. "…Said to forever bond the destinies of the two who share one, hmmm," Kairi watched as the figure came out of the shadows, closer to her. She was frozen. "We never did share one… did we?" he questioned softly as he knelt down before Kairi's stunned form. He ran a hand across her trembling jaw line.

"How…? I, R-" Kairi could not finish as she stumbled desperately over words and searched frantically for air at the same time. She choked as her heart rate increased at a dangerous speed and tears filled her deep violet eyes. They threatened to fall, but she tried with all of her being to force them back. The figure sighed as he pulled his hand away, a sly grin lacing his lips.

"Weren't expecting this, huh?" he questioned lightly as the grin staying plastered across his face. Kairi slowly shook her head as a single tear ran down her cheek. He stared down at her with his intense aqua eyes, the eyes that had haunted her endlessly over the past four years.

* * *

:AN: Sorry. It's still kind of short. The next one's going to be very long, however, so be excited. Here are just some thanks for the people who have reviewed so far...

Zanisha: Thanks for your reviews. I like to make my description as unique as possible. I tend to use a lot of the same adjectives over and over though, so sometimes it gets kind of messy. But thanks for liking it! I'm glad that you didn't find that last chapter really boring. That's a good thing. Thanks again.

Lvkishugs: Hey, I'm glad you like it. If it weren't for you then I never would have posted it. Because of that whole reviewing thing, I think it's gotten me back in the world of fan fic writing. I've been craving it lately. :). I'm excited about this story, though. I might actually finish it. Yay. Thanks for all of your reviews on everything. It really makes me happy.

TheLadyKnightOfCamelot: Thanks for your review, it was... sweet. It's cool that you actually read my stories even though you've never played Kingdom Hearts in your life. Maybe I'll write a fan fic about Klaus so that you can read it and understand it. Actually, I think I'll do that. hehehe. I'll randomly put Klaus in this story somewhere. XD. Sorry. Have fun!

Well... that's it. Lots of people, huh:laughs: I like how I can laugh even though it secretly hurts inside. I hope all the corrections I made are nice and dandy. I should probably re-re-re-edit. I need someone else to edit these things. I'm horrible. Anyway. Have a splendid weekend. I'll post as much as possible. I don't have a lot of homework, so yay.


	4. Dark Confusion

:AN: Wow, guys! I'm making it far… so very far! I might actually finish this one, though I don't want to jinx it. Enjoy this chapter; it's going to be my favourite… I think. Oh, and just so I get no more of it… Just because there are some things in this chapter, it is still S/K… All right? S/K, not R/K.

**Quick Summary**: It had been four years since Kairi had seen her two best friends Sora and Riku. Riku was taken away and Sora had to go rescue him, not letting Kairi come along, telling her that it was too dangerous. He left her with the only knowledge that he would come back for her one day. She had no idea where either of them went or why. She had no idea if they even remembered her anymore, or even if either of them were still alive. All she knew was that they were gone and her life would never be the same as it was four years ago.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter four

Kairi blinked, trying desperately to regain her poise, but she failed miserably. A thousand questions ran rampant through her mind. Thoughts burned by so fast that she felt as though her head was about to combust. She attempted to collect herself as she closed her eyes tightly, waiting to wake up from this misleading dream. That's all it was, another silly dream. The man smiled lightly at her as he ran his fingers through her long, auburn hair in attempt to calm her obviously distressed form. She sobbed softly as she felt him touch her. A few more tears streamed down her cheek as she trembled slightly.

"Kairi…" he whispered tenderly, the words playing on his lips. He began to laugh quietly as she slowly opened her eyes, as if magically expecting herself to wake in her bed. She took a deep breath and threw her gaze down at the cold, dark stone of the cavern floor when she noticed that he was still kneeling there, staring at her with his deep, aqua eyes.

"Stop it," she whispered lightly as she took his hand and pushed it away from her. He sighed and looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled as she stared up at him, a still unwilling expression of denial was lacing her face.

The cave had become unpleasantly cold and Kairi felt herself grow weak with confusion and heavy, bitter air as it seeped around her, through her. She could not find the words and, in essence, fell into a deep state of depressed silence as she shivered uncontrollably. She closed her eyes again, praying that she would soon wake up because she couldn't take much more of this. The games that her mind constantly chose to play with her made her very upset. She especially despised it when it played the games she hated the most, the ones that seemed to touch on a more tender subject. The ones, like this, that involved the false back comings of one of the two friends she had lost so long ago.

"Can you come with me, Kairi?" he asked calmly as he rubbed her arm lightly in attempt to ease her shivering. She shook her head lightly and grinned. He frowned and threw her a questioning look.

"I-I know that you're… not real, Riku, so just let me be," she spoke softly as she kept her eyes shut. He stared at her in his own confusion.

"Open your eyes, Kairi," he whispered as he ran his hand beneath her chin and raised her head gently so that she was directly in his line of vision. She refused silently and tightly held her lids together. Riku sighed. He slowly leaned his face in and brushed his lips lightly against hers. Just as Riku had intended, Kairi's eyes shot open in deep surprise. The feeling it gave her awoke uncharted memories. It was a feeling that she knew all too well. She stared at him, watching the grin play on his lips. She would be a fool to deny it any longer, this was it, this was surely him.

"Come with me, Kairi," he spoke softly as he slowly rose up to his feet and offered down a hand to her. She timidly wrapped her fingers around his and he pulled her up. He smiled and began to lead her out of the cave through the narrow, darkened tunnel. She tumbled aimlessly as she held tightly onto his hand, trusting him to guide her way.

It had gotten bitterly cold and Kairi could feel the wind as it whipped through the passageway. There was no light coming from the outside as they neared the exit. The beach was still warm, however, the remnants of the midday sun still echoed in the dusky sky. The breeze seemed only to be calm out here, as if the cave created it's own bitter draft unalike to the outside world. Kairi eased up a little as the tepid air met her shivering body. The sand was still slightly hot; warming her feet as it sifted through her toes. She calmed down. The sun was already setting into the peaceful sea. She guessed she had slept for longer than she had thought this morning. She had not been in the cave for very long, therefore it was her only explanation.

She followed the silver haired man as he led her out across a bridge to a smaller island. She remembered this area from her childhood. The two of them would often sit and talk out here in the evenings, as the sunset, just like this. He'd speak of his own life and how he was going to find other worlds someday. She'd just listen, in content silence, to his slightly philosophical outlooks. He was always so fearless, never seeming to show a weakness. He sat down on what looked like a curved palm tree, when in fact it was not a palm tree. It did, however, resemble a palm tree, yet it bore a strange, yellow, star-shaped fruit called a poupu. Therefore the tree was known as a poupu tree, regardless of its resemblance to a palm tree. Kairi climbed up next to him, keeping her gaze plastered on the fiery, purple sunset as her mind stayed focused on the man who sat beside her.

"Are you okay?" he questioned suddenly, his words shattering the uncomfortable silence that seeped deeply through the air.

"I haven't been okay for about four years. How are you, Riku?" Kairi asked in reply. Her words were soft, but they were sarcastically bitter. She took a deep breath and looked over at him, he said nothing. It was the strangest thing. Kairi had imagined this for so long. She had planned out exactly how she'd react so many times if he were to come back, if she were to see him again. She saw herself wrapped in his embrace, tears flowing out of her eyes. There was an unfathomable smile upon her face. Yet, here, she wasn't crying, nor was she taking him in her arms. She was not smiling.

"I'm… sorry," he spoke gently in reply as he stared longingly down at the golden weaved sand below him. Kairi shook her head slowly as an overwhelming feeling of reality hit her smack in the face. Her heart stopped and she felt herself choke.

"W-why'd you come back here, Riku?" Kairi asked as she held back the tears. She stared down at him, her large violet eyes glossy against the dying sun. He looked up at her and it broke his heart.

"I- I wanted to see you… once more," he answered lightly. Kairi frowned and drew her eyebrows together. She tried to read the expression on his face, but it was blank. He hid his deepest emotions well, but Kairi could still tell there was a second dimension to his feelings. She shook her head slowly.

"W-what do you mean… _once more_?" she questioned in a low whisper. He grinned at her and laughed lightly. He didn't answer and Kairi grew a frustrated sorrow. "Riku?" she asked, raising her voice slightly. The smile faded and he just looked intently at her, deep into her eyes. She grew slightly uneasy at his mortified stare.

"This was my final request, Kairi…" he spoke in an ashamed whisper. She stared at him, her gaze only becoming more confused as the tears stayed at the rims of her eyes. She didn't move.

"What's that…?" she asked softly as the dusky sun hit her face, casting an aura of golden light around her profile. Riku took a deep breath and stared out across the endless horizon, a horizon that seemed only to bleed through a morbid sea; a sea that held nothing but a thousand years of vague remorse. He didn't know how to explain it, the way was unfamiliar. It hurt too much.

"Look at yourself," he spoke in a cold tone as he glanced over at her. She looked down, noticing nothing but the ordinary, nothing unfamiliar. She stared back with a confused look upon her face. "Now look at me," he said as Kairi's gaze studied his form. He looked like himself, only older, taller… Kairi didn't understand. What was he trying to explain? "What do you see?" he asked as she let out a quick sob, overwhelmed with unexplainable confusion.

"I don't-" Kairi spoke as she tried to hold back the tears. She took a deep breath as he eyed her softly.

"Just tell me what you see," he whispered gently.

"I-I see you… I s-see Riku," she replied forcefully as he nodded slowly. A large wave suddenly crashed against the side of the island causing Kairi to jump slightly. She sobbed again. "I don't get it… Wha-"

"Look at me again, Kairi, look in my eyes," he requested as he stared at her, catching her vision within his. She bit her lip and looked again. She searched aimlessly. His eyes, they were not as they once were. She saw it now, they were darker, faded. They held no cheer as he tried to light a smile. The only emotion they held was something that Kairi could not explain.

"Do you see it now?" he questioned softly. He slowly pulled his gaze back as she nodded slowly. She saw it, but she didn't know what it meant.

"What does that have to do wi-" Riku stopped her and nodded.

"All I can say is that sometimes people change…" he began in a whisper. Kairi's confusion didn't cease to drown her. She stared at him in profound agony. "And sometimes, people are not always as nice as they appear to be on the outside," he continued.

"Riku, I don't underst-"

"Just let me finish…" he interrupted as Kairi fell back into her silent state of confusion. The sun sank down behind the sea, bleeding back into the horizon. "Seeing you was… My final request." Riku stated as he stared down at the sand beneath his dangling feet. They fell into a state of depressed silence once more. Riku nodded his head down and closed his eyes.

"F-final… request?" Kairi questioned unpleasantly. She tried to understand, to make sense of his words, but she could not. Kairi was flooded with such an overwhelming sense of confusion that she could hardly bare it any longer. Riku looked up at her and grinned.

"I'm dying, Kairi… Don't you get it?" he asked bitterly as he threw his gaze sharply back at her. Now it was a surprised confusion. She furrowed her brow and gazed deeply at him, shaking her head slowly.

"H-how? You just got here… I don't-" Kairi exclaimed urgently. She stared at him, trying to break through his malevolent façade. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, choking her spitefully. "I don't understand," she finished in a passionate whisper. The grin faded from Riku's face and his expression was suddenly drowned in a guilt-filled sorrow. Kairi stared at him as she could just see the tears welling at the brims of his eyes. It was unnatural to see, for Riku was too powerful to cry, it went against everything that Kairi had ever known. He stared at her and then looked hurriedly away. She felt a warm tear stream down her own face and she began to weep helplessly. She tried to force it back now, but it was a meaningless effort. She broke.

After a few minutes of depressed silence and weeping on Kairi's part, Riku turned to her. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her back and placed her head upon his shoulder, rocking her weary body back and forth in attempt to calm her. They sat there as the darkness of night over took the beach, the sun setting off its last rays of light. There was a gentle breeze that blew warmly against Kairi's bare skin. It ran through her long, auburn hair and blew it softly over her shoulders, exposing the flesh on her uncovered back. She let herself cry, pouring out all of her burdensome emotions as Riku ran his hands through her smooth hair.

"W-why didn't you… come back sooner?" Kairi questioned through her tears as they choked her words. She forced them back and looked up at Riku with her wet, violet eyes.

"I have to go… soon," he spoke, pretending not to have heard her before. She stared at him, pulling his gaze toward hers. Kairi shook her head slowly as his eyes fell upon her. She pulled away from him; an expression angry with demanding confusion laced her face. It seemed to be the common feeling of the night.

"You keep avoiding my questions," Kairi stated sullenly. Riku sighed and looked at her. He lifted up one finger and wiped the tears off of her cheek.

"There are some things that I can not tell you, Kairi, I'm sorry," Riku spoke. Kairi shook her head slowly and eyed him gravely.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I… I can't say," he replied forcefully. Kairi fell into an angry silence that seemed to last only a moment. She angrily pondered her feelings and decided that this was not fair.

"What am I, too young or something?" she questioned bitterly as Riku instantly shook his head. She glared at him, no longer being able to withstand his secrets. "I've been alone for four years… waiting for you, for something… waiting for the day where I no longer had to wonder… when I no longer had to live in a world where all I could do was question," Kairi raised her voice slightly. "You left… Sora left. That's all I know. My two best friends were gone and, for all I knew, might never come back. I didn't know where you were or if you were still even alive. It's still a pending question!" Kairi shouted, her cheeks turning red with suppressed anguish. She took a sharp breath. "Give me some God damn answers, Riku, because I am not going to spend the rest of my life waiting," Kairi whispered in bitter softness as more tears came to her eyes. She held them back easily, however, for the anger in her heart overrode the pooling sorrow. Riku stared at her, a little taken aback. He sighed as his eyes ran over the tiny, golden stars that had long since begun to sprinkle the darkened sky. Kairi glared at him in sadness as a tear escaped her eye.

"What would you rather do… than live without answers?" Riku questioned softly as he gently closed his eyes, ducking his head down low. The warm breeze swept his smooth, silver hair across the back of his neck and off of his forehead. Kairi stared at his forehead, noticing a deep scar that ran the length from his hairline down the left side of his face, stopping as it reached his eye. She took her hand and gently began to trace her finger along it. Riku winced as if it were still an open cut and grabbed her hand, bringing it down from his face. He eyed her as she stared over into his eyes.

"I'd rather die…" she spoke fearlessly as she stared desperately at him.

"A-and what about Sora?" Riku asked lightly as he ran his rough fingers over hers.

"Huh?" Kairi questioned, throwing him a confused stare.

"What would you rather do… than live without him?" Riku restated as he stared long and hard into Kairi's eyes. A soft look laced her face, painful and weak. She fell still.

"I'd rather have never been born, than even live another moment without him," Kairi whispered firmly as she challenged Riku's intense stare with her own. He sat for a few moments, pondering something, and then he nodded. He took a firm grip upon Kairi's hand and pushed himself off of the tree. He pulled her down and caught her as she fell, taking firm grip of her arms in his strong hands.

"Are you undoubtedly sure that you want to do this?" Riku asked forcefully as he glared powerfully into Kairi's eyes. She furrowed her brow.

"What am I doing?" she questioned confused.

"I can not tell you until you are absolutely positive that you want to do it," he spoke harshly. Kairi shook her head in outrage.

"I don-"

"Are you sure, Kairi, that you know what you want," Riku questioned. Kairi sighed in confusion and stared up at him longingly.

"I don't want to be confused anymore, Riku… that's all I want," Kairi spoke. Riku nodded slowly and loosened his grip slightly.

"You're sure?" he asked as she gave him one last quavering look and then nodded. "Very well. Don't let go of my hand and close your eyes," Riku spoke sternly as Kairi hesitantly did as she was told. "Do not open your eyes, do you understand?" he firmly repeated. Kairi nodded. She tried to put aside the overpowering confusion that never seemed to leave her intently distressed mind. She heard Riku mumble some incomprehensible phrase and suddenly felt herself become overwhelmed with a sense of unfamiliar pain so powerful that she felt her entire body go numb instantly. She could feel the warm tears slipping from the brims of her tightly closed eyes as darkness seeped through her lids and she did not understand why she was crying. What was happening, she didn't comprehend. She heard a cry, no, multiple cries. It was all she could hear. It was her own jagged, piercing screams. They slipped uncontrollably and rampantly from her mouth and incased her mind. An unimaginable pain broke through her head and she felt herself lose grip of Riku, lose thought of him altogether. She shot her eyes open from the sharp pain and all she could see was darkness, it blinded her. And suddenly she felt her screaming stop and the pain faded and she felt her mind slip away into a hollow state of unconsciousness.


	5. An Unforseen Reunion

:AN: Oh my gosh, I haven't had any time to update. I'm sorry! But I've written, like, three chapters out in a binder during geometry… I'll try to type them all soon. Chapter five. And here develops the plot. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter five

She felt herself slowly regain consciousness, instantly feeling a sharp pain cutting down her face. Her head throbbed as it felt as though an exceedingly heavy object had struck it. She reached a trembling hand up to her skull to try and ease the pain. _A dream… _she thought lightly, recalling the distant encounter with Riku. She pulled her hand away from her face as she winced with pain. Her hand dripped with blood. Kairi slowly forced her eyes open as an extraordinarily dim light seemed to blind her. She stared up at a gray-brown ceiling. Everything about where she was seemed distinctly unfamiliar. A cold, heavy air seeped through her exposed body as she lay upon a bed atop a dark-coloured quilt. She ran her hand over the soft surface as she squinted against the faint light that spilt in through a slightly open door to her left. Through it, she could hear voices mumbling about something she couldn't quite comprehend.

"-What the hell were you thinking?" shouted one voice quietly. Kairi strained her ears. It hurt her head, but she wanted to know where she was and why she was there and she decided this was the only possible way to find out at the moment, considering she found it difficult to move.

"I thought that maybe she'd be better off this way," came another, deeper voice. This one sounded recently familiar to Kairi. She gasped silently at the thought. _Riku…_ _This can't be real; I have to get out of here. _Kairi thought as she forced herself to sit up. Her feet dangled just out of reach of the floor. She winced again as another searing pain ran through her entire body. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.

"How can someone be better off in a place like this, Riku? Are you blind?" shouted the first voice again. It _was_ Riku. Kairi furrowed her brow intensely. She looked around the darkened room, finding it hard to make much out now that her eyes had slightly adjusted to the extreme lack of light that still seemed to burn her vision. She couldn't understand it, why her eyes were so sensitive to a glow so dim and gentle that it was considered more of a subtle darkness than an illumination. Kairi sighed and continued listening.

"That's not funny," spoke Riku. Kairi pondered aimlessly about whom they could possibly be talking about and whom _Riku_ could possibly be talking to… she tried stepping up onto her feet, but caught her legs off guard. She fell, but caught herself on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks to you, now _she_ can't escape this, Riku! Do you really want her to have to go through everything that we had to?" the other person exclaimed. Both voices seemed to be drowned out by the continuous pounding of Kairi's head. She felt a sudden coldness seep through the air, bitter against her still exposed skin. It had been there all along, however, she had not taken notice of it until just now. She slowly attempted to regain balance and took a few stumbling steps toward the door.

"I'm sorry… It's just… she told me that she'd rather have never been born…" Spoke Riku coldly. "She just wants to be with you, Sora." Kairi gasped and stumbled forward again, losing complete control and falling right as she reached her destination. She hit the frame and landed with a loud grunt on her face across the threshold, the door swinging completely open before her. The same dim light burned through her tender eyes as she struggled to get up against the pain. She heard some surprised gasps and urgent footsteps. A pair of strong hands grabbed her shoulders and forced her up. Kairi pushed against him, using his arms as support. She cautiously tried to open her eyes, but, yet again, found it difficult somehow.

"Turn down the light, Riku," came that first, cold voice again. Kairi felt the hands around her upper arms tighten as she trembled. Within moments she found it much easier to see as the room fell almost completely dark. She squinted up before her, barely able to make out a pair of dull, blue-gray eyes. She rubbed her throbbing temple, wincing slightly as she touched the deep cut that ran down the side of her face. She felt the warm blood spilling, again, over her trembling fingers. Her eyes slowly began to adjust and she was able to see pretty well, fully making out the guy who sat before her. A look of intense concern laced his face. She stared deeply at him, letting the bitter familiarness of his being drown her. She felt tears surface at the rims of her eyes and she choked, trying to force back the sobs that welled in her throat. The man sighed and looked away, staring down at the cold, hardwood floor. A few moans escaped from Kairi's lips as an overwhelming and unexpected sense of depressed emotions took over her. Tears slipped from her eyes and streamed endlessly down her cheeks. Sora bit his lower lip as he wrapped his arms around his distant friend, pressing her head against his shoulder. He gently wiped the long strands of auburn hair out of her face.

Kairi didn't understand it, but she no longer seemed to care. Her confusion seemed only to be washed away by this unfamiliar feeling of unforeseen… something. She couldn't quite describe it, but it felt good somehow. Almost as though a thousand years of spiraling anguish was instantly drifting away because of a single embrace. An embrace, however, that Kairi felt as though she had waited an eternity for. Yet, it felt different than she had anticipated. It felt hollow, somehow… There was something that didn't feel right. An emotion entangled within her rising sympathy that seethed nothing but unfamiliar remorse. It was hard to explain, but she felt it, a kind of depressed feeling… darkness.

Kairi let out another forceful sob. She allowed her warm tears to freely slip from her eyes, soaking his dark shirt. She took her trembling arms and wrapped them so tightly around his back that it hurt, twisting her fingers around the fabric. He ran a hand through her soft hair, trying to calm her weary body. He let his head rest upon hers, trying desperately to hold back his own quavering emotions.

"Damn it," he whispered softly as he closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

Sometimes words can't even begin to describe the intensity of emotion people may feel. Sometimes we can feel so much that it's hard to comprehend what it all really means. Our feelings are held within our memories and at the exact moment a forgotten memory is awakened, our lost emotions will flood us until the point where we are nothing but drowning, drowning in a sea so deep with remised feelings that words no longer seem to exist. That is as close as I can come to describing the very state Kairi found herself in at this particular instant. She was drowning in a sea that held every awakened memory she could recall and flooded her with long forgotten emotions. She could do nothing but trust that this was her reality, not just another twisted nightmare. But the feelings were too pure, too innocent to be anything but real. They welled and seeped and fell. It was a slightly demented reality, but it was hers. This innocent remorse was all she had to hold onto here, in this dim shade. She would never let it go, not even if it meant her life, she could never let this go.

"No…" came Sora's light voice. Kairi felt him shift away and she looked up into his face as tears continuously refused to cease spilling from her eyes. "God damn it, Riku!" Sora shouted as he rose to his feet in outrage, turning to face the second man hidden within the shadows of the small, faint room. "Why the hell did you do this?" he exclaimed. Kairi stared at both of them in her own silenced confusion, slightly taken aback by Sora's chosen vocabulary. She could feel the angry hatred seeping from his distressed form. "I-I can't believe you-" Sora cut himself off as he choked back a sob. He bit his lip and turned away from the emotionless man who kept himself seated upon a bed that sat in the far corner of the small, cold room.

Kairi slowly tried to rise to her feet, throwing herself against the wall for support. She dried her cheeks with one hand and helplessly stumbled across the floor, her bare feet feeling numb against the cold, hardwood. She followed the wall until she reached the corner before which stood Sora. She eyed him in confusion as he turned away from her. She looked over at Riku and then back at him. She gulped back on last weep and attempted to approach him, falling forward. Sora caught her, firmly grasping both of her arms in his strong hands.

"Look at her, Sora," spoke Riku's dark voice. It was bizarre, but Kairi swore she heard something else in his tone just then. An edge of bitter darkness, perchance. She looked up to see a dark pair of faded sapphire eyes staring down at her, fircefully studying her. "It's too late," Riku whispered emotionlessly. Sora began to shake his head. "She opened her eyes, Sora… It's too late now," Riku laughed. He got up off the bed and slowly walked over to where they both stood. He reached out a hand and began stroking Kairi's head, running his fingers through her long, auburn hair. Kairi stared up at him with a slightly frightened expression lacing her face. A black cloth was wrapped around his eyes, like a sort of blindfold. It was bizarre.

Kairi noticed an expression of pure hatred upon Sora's face as he glared up at Riku. The silver haired man grinned down at Sora, taking his hand and running it down Kairi's face.

"She still looks so innocent, doesn't she?" Riku laughed lightly. Sora grabbed his hand tightly, pulling it away from Kairi's face, and dug his finger nails into his flesh.

"You sick bastard, don't you touch her," Sora spoke in an angry whisper. Kairi grew exceeding confused. This wasn't Riku, certainly not the same guy she knew from her childhood, and, likewise, not the man she had just been with on the beach. He was cold and empty. He touched her and all she felt was sin, hollow sin. She gazed over at Sora, unable to stand the look upon Riku's face. His eyes seemed only to burn, burn like a deep void of seething darkness. She felt like screaming now, as an insatiable sensation of unforgotten angst washed over her.

"What's wrong, Sora? Scared I might hurt her, Hmmm?" Riku questioned as he turned his gaze over to the angry brunette. Sora tightened his grip on Kairi's arms as she nearly fell forward again. Riku grinned. "Or, are you just upset because I'm leaving and you are not?" Riku smirked as he placed a finger upon Sora's nose and laughed. "Poor wittle Sowa is scawed because he doesn't-"

"Shut-up, Riku, just shut the hell up!" Sora exclaimed. Riku eyed him intensely and fell emotionless again. He turned around and walked over to a door that stood shut in the darkened corner of the room.

"It won't be long now, Sora. Just remember that…" he spoke monotonously. "Be fair to her." Kairi watched as Riku opened it and walked out slowly without another word. A cold wind seeped through the room as Kairi frowned and trembled slightly. She blinked heavily and stared past Sora in a sort of daze. She took a deep breath.

"I'd like to wake up now…" Kairi spoke softly as she looked up at Sora, his face hidden within the shadows of the dim room. He sighed and nodded with a frown.

"Me too," he replied drearily. Sora sifted his gaze down onto her somnolent form. He lifted a hand up to her forehead as she gave him a confused look. He gently pulled his hand down over her pale eyes and she instantly felt a weary sleep overwhelm her. She uncontrollably lost consciousness and fell forward against Sora's willing form. He sighed as he effortlessly raised her up into his arms and carried her weak body over onto the large bed on which Riku had been previously sitting, gently setting her down. He took the heavy, dark umber-coloured quilt and placed it over Kairi's trembling body. She still wore nothing but her dark crimson, black lace trimmed nightgown that cut off a few inches above her knees. Her skin was pale and cold.

Sora looked down upon her sleeping form, sinking down to his knees. Nothing but hallow innocence seemed to surround her. He let out a deep sob as he traced the cut on her face with his finger, running the long strands of dark auburn out of her eyes. He smiled darkly as he studied her, taking in every remnant of pure reality that washed over him.

"Damn it, Kairi… It is too late," Sora whispered softly as he drew his hand away. He slowly sunk down and turned away from her. He drew his knees up to his chest, running his fingers across her eyebrows. And he cried. He cried because he knew, no matter what, he was nothing but powerless now. And because an unexplainable anguish drowned his teeming thoughts as Riku's words echoed though his mind. But mostly, he cried because he knew that he may never be able to again.

* * *

:AN: Hehehe… Comma happy. (sneezes). I think I have a cold. That chapter sucked. See you next time on chapter six! I'm kind of delirious, so if things don't seem to make sense here… It's because my brain no longer functions properly…

Just some thanks to my reviewers:

Zanisha: Like your writing is even comparable to this load of crap. Your stuff is amazing it's not fair to _me_ that you're comparing it. :laughs: Your support is _amazing_.

Lvkishugs: I've decided to dub this my comeback story, even though it's really the first or second story that I've actually gotten into this far. And it's all thanks to you! YAY. Thank you so much for the support as well. Even though you and Zanisha are practically the only two reviewing, I have to say, I would take just the two of you over one-liners from a thousand other people. Thanks so much .

Selene: Sorry, I think spelt your pen name wrong… There was an S and an e and an n… Anyway. Yeah, this is definitely a SoraxKairi fic. I'm sorry if it's not too SoraxKairi yet. The next chapter will probably make you a little angry too, for a SoraxKairi-er, but I need the element of KairixRiku for the time being so that I can tie the present happenings with the past… BUT NOT TO FRET! It is definitely a SoraxKairi… Yes. Bwahahaha!


	6. Distant Aspirations

:AN: … I don't think I liked that last chapter… Sorry. It was poorly written. I thought The Lord of the Rings sound track would inspire me… But I was too concentrated on the music and a sudden urge to watch the Return of the King. Anyway, I hope _you_ enjoyed it.

I love messing with Riku's character, he's so fun! Here's chapter six.

I hate editing so I'm winging it… I'm really sorry if it sucks. Tell me and I will have my editors on it pronto. I promise. But I want to write the next chapter because it's going to be fun . So it's not edited. Which is kind of scary. Maybe I should edit it. Or maybe I should just stop ranting and continue. Thanks for reading my author's note. If you're even reading this. Good day.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter six

A simple consciousness took over her as she opened her eyes, meeting a room so devoid of light that she wondered if she had mysteriously gone blind. An unfamiliar and strangely pleasant feeling ran through her as she laid in the darkness. It was bizarre. It was almost as if, perchance she found herself back in the familiar setting of her own room, she would not care or even take mind to the distant occurrences that continued to play out in her thoughts. If she moved to find it had only been a distinctly imagined dream, and that she was no longer in that darkened place in which she had found her friends, it would not burden her. Kairi thought about it in the darkness, pondering only whether she should try to get up. She decided, at least, that a piece of her wished desperately that it had been real. She longed only to find herself wrapped endlessly in Sora's arms, feeling the way he had made her feel so many times before; safe, unbreakable, simple… clean. A smile came to Kairi's lips, lacing her face with a graceful innocence that only one person could ever bring. She could imagine herself with him now, her stupid fantasies. She'd spend endless hours just playing old memories of him over and over again in her head. Though, the only thing it ever brought her was the painful reality of his absence.

Kairi furrowed her brow slightly as she reached a hand up to her forehead, wiping the long hair out of her eyes. She felt the deep gash on her face had been bandaged with something. She touched it curiously, stopping when the pain became unbearable. She tried to remember how she got it, but nothing seemed to fit. All she could recall was being with Riku on the beach and then just… darkness. Kairi trembled slightly as she recalled that feeling, so pure and sharp. It ran like blood through her, cold and evil. It tore at her heart; she could feel it still, like it paralyzed her. Kairi shook the feeling away and slowly sat up in the bed on which she lay, the heavy quilt slipping down her smooth nightgown. She tried to make something out, anything through the darkness, but she could see nothing.

A cold, heavy air seeped through the room, harsh against Kairi's tender skin. She felt nothing but a queer loneliness entangled within a bitter sense of doubt. There seemed to be emptiness… everything felt hollow. All she could hear was the sound of her own long, slow breaths.

Oddly enough, Kairi found a sudden and passionate longing for home… for something familiar. It couldn't have been a dream, she knew very well where she was. Well, in truth, she had no idea where she was. She did know, however, that she did not like this place. The awkward sense of unexplainable fear and unfamiliarity drained her of her content.

Kairi slowly moved herself over to the side of the bed, her feet finding the cold, hardwood floor. She silently questioned her own ability to walk, recalling her distant, yet previous attempt in the adjacent room. She sighed vaguely as she forced herself up onto her feet. She stumbled forward on impact, but found it refreshingly unchallenging to maintain her balance. She smiled lightly with a sense of self-satisfaction. She whipped her hair back and felt aimlessly for a wall, a hand, with which to guide her. She stumbled over, hitting what felt like a window draped in long, heavy curtains. She took the thick cloth in her hands and pulled them apart. A stream of deep blue moonlight washed in through the large glass pane, dimly illuminating the entire room with a slightly haunting glow. Kairi ran a hand down the smooth surface, feeling a bitter coldness seep through her fingertips. She stared out, her eyes seeing nothing but what seemed to be an endless night sky bleeding a sea of deep violets and foggy blacks through her fixed eyes. The starless horizon seemed to fill her with a feeling crying with sinful agony and imprisoned despair. She almost felt as if the sun could never rise in this forbidden place, would never. It concerned her.

"Kairi," came a cold and soft voice from behind her. She felt an instant sensation of utter bewilderment as sharp chills rose up her spin. She quickly whipped her body around, gasping silently at the unexpected person who stood before her. She stared up at him, not sure whether to be relieved to see a familiar face, or to be frightened because his face wasn't as familiar as she had wanted it to be. The man grinned lightly, short wisps of silver hair running before his dark eyes. He took a hand and lifted it up to the side of Kairi's pale face, running his fingers affectionately down her smooth skin. Kairi felt her heart rate quicken in a sense of confused fear.

"Riku…?" Kairi spoke frightfully. She trembled slightly at the unexpected contact as he touched her. He just grinned.

"Do I make you nervous, Kairi?" he questioned almost slyly. She didn't speak, just stood there, watching his unimaginable dark eyes as they gazed past her, almost as if they tore through her. Kairi bit her lip and looked away from him in shame. "I can feel you trembling," spoke Riku coldly as he began to run his hand through her long, auburn hair, washed in a shade of deep violet. He gently lowered his hand down to her chin. She closed her eyes and threw her view to the dark ground.

"Don't be ashamed," he whispered lightly as he drew her face forward. She closed her eyes even tighter and bit her lower lip forcefully. She heard him laugh softly as his hand ran her hair across her bare shoulder. Kairi quivered as his cold fingers caressed her smooth, exposed skin. She suddenly felt his hands around her waist and his lips gently pressed against hers. Kairi panicked and struggled against his powerful hold. She broke free after a few moments and fell back against the window, the glass sent a bitter chill down her spine and she cringed. Her heart beat painfully as an overwhelming surge of fear washed over her weak form.

Riku sighed deeply and ran both his hands up her silky, crimson nightgown. A satanic grin laced his face as Kairi eyed him with a sense of redundant anger and fierce terror. Fear pooled within her eyes as she stared up at his haunting expression. Kairi leaned back as far as the window would allow.

"Don't touch me," Kairi whispered as she trembled within his arms. She tried moving away, but his grip on her waist only grew tighter the more she struggled. Riku smiled and placed one hand upon Kairi's soft cheek.

"You seem so innocent, Kairi," he stated lightly as he ran his fingers beneath her chin. She tried to turn her head away, but he prevented her with his firm hold upon her jaw. He leaned his face in again, intensely massaging his lips against hers. Kairi closed her eyes so tight that it was painful. She struggled helplessly to escape his powerful hold, trying as hard as possible to keep her mouth closed. She couldn't stop him, it was a meaningless effort. Riku pulled away slowly after he felt her stop struggling. He pressed his entire body up against hers. She felt every fracture of her being tense as tears, forced from his unwanted actions, welled in her eyes.

"So innocent… but not to worry, Kairi, we'll change that," Riku assured in a whisper laced with a grin. Kairi felt herself jump slightly as his cold hands rose just below her chest.

"Please, Don-" Warm tears began to roll down her pink cheeks as Riku forced her into another deep and emotionless kiss. She didn't try to escape it, finding herself physically and mentally too weak. Her heart beat so fast that it made it difficult to breath, more difficult than it normally would have been in a situation such as this. She felt herself choke as a cold hand ran the strap of her nightgown down her arm. She felt herself fall back when Riku's body was suddenly ripped away. She slammed back against the window, her knees instantly giving out, and she felt herself sink to the cold, hardwood floor. Warm tears cascaded down her face like rain, her body shaking violently.

"Damn it Riku! What the hell do you think you're doing?" exclaimed an exceedingly angry voice from the moon washed darkness. Kairi watched as Sora held Riku forcefully by his wrists. Riku just grinned connivingly at Sora, an expression laced with guiltless pleasure spread over his face. "You stay away from her, or God damn it, Riku, I will kill you!" Sora hissed in a low whisper. He glared at the dark, silver-haired man with such forceful intensity that Kairi feared he _was _about to kill him.

"You're a fool, Sora. You know that, right?" Riku laughed. He pulled his hands out of Sora's grasp and grinned that wicked grin of his. "She can't stay like that for much longer, the darkness will overtake her," he spoke. Sora glared up at Riku with intended disgust. He just laughed. "Just like it did to you. It will drown her, Sora, one way or another. Better to have a faltered heart than a pure one in a place like this, huh?" Riku went on. "That's something _you'd _know a little bit about-"

"That's enough, Riku!" Sora demanded. He glared insatiably at Riku, death and hatred seething within his eyes. Riku smiled and gaily waved his fingers at him as a cloud of darkness engulfed his shady form, and then he was gone.

Sora took a deep breath and threw his gaze towards Kairi. He stared at her blankly and then motioned towards her. He held out a hand before her frightened face. Kairi hurriedly wiped the streams of tears from her cheeks. She grabbed his hand with a trembling motion and weakly wrapped her fingers around his. Sora slowly pulled her up, but her knees failed to lock and she fell forward into his arms. He supported her up and led her over to the bed, setting her down. He smiled lightly, letting it fade quickly as he sat down next to her.

"Wha- what's wrong with him?" Kairi questioned as she stared down at her trembling hands. She heard Sora sigh deeply. Kairi blinked, forcing more tears from her eyes.

"…This place is… It's a prison, Kairi," Sora began slowly. Kairi looked over at him timidly. "It slowly drains you of your innocence until you're nothing but a heartless shadow… once it starts, it can't stop. It sucks you in and, no matter what, you can't escape… You can't _ever_ escape," he spoke in a hushed whisper. Kairi stared at him, seeing the gentle truth in his dull, moonlit eyes.

"It sucked him in, then… huh?" Kairi questioned in mild confusion.

"… It's overtaken him… Riku's completely gone," Sora spoke. He gazed at Kairi to see if she was in need of further explanation. Kairi opened her mouth to speak, thinking about what she was going to say.

"I saw him… on the beach, but… he seemed normal," she stated softly. Sora looked at her, somewhat confused at first, but then began to nod. He turned and faced the wall.

"Did he mention anything about a _final request_?" Sora asked in a gentle whisper. Kairi thought deeply and then began to nod. Her recollections of that instant were foggy, but she did remember that. Vague, but a memory nevertheless.

"Yeah… he told me that it was his _final request_ to see me… And that he was dying, or something… That's all he said," spoke Kairi softly. She looked over at the open window, out at the dark night sky.

"It's kind of like… we get this final request, a last wish, before we… um… Well, before we 'die', essentially. Before we become completely devoid of every purely innocent emotion we know," a funny look surfaced upon Sora's face. He turned and gazed at Kairi. "Do you get it?" Kairi bit her lip.

"Kind of… But why didn't he look like he does now?" she questioned lightly. Sora nodded slowly.

"Every day you're here, a little more 'good' is taken from you, right? It's taken in such small amounts that it's impossible to tell overnight, you know? But over time you start to change… like your attitude and psychology and stuff. But the change is so gradual that you don't even realize it." Sora looked over at her with a reflective look on his face. She nodded slowly.

"So when you do that _last request_ you turn back onto, like… good?" Kairi questioned, pondering her phrasing. Sora laughed lightly at her choice of words.

"Um… Yeah, kind of. There was something 'different' about him, though… am I right?" he asked in return. Kairi thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah… His eyes. They were darker… faded," Kairi answered in a depressed whisper, recalling their conversation during the sunset. She watched Sora as he frowned and nodded.

"Yeah… Um… You saw them just now, right?" Sora asked as he stared down. Kairi shuddered lightly as she recalled the memory of his deeper than black eyes as he looked over her. Kairi closed her eyes and nodded. "He's completely blind to light now. He can only see in complete darkness. He can't live in any light much brighter than that of a candle," Sora explained in a low voice. Kairi sat still for a few minutes, not fully taking in the reality of the conversation. It all seemed so surreal. "That's why he was wearing that blindfold the other night… His eyes can't handle it."

"C-can he see me?" Kairi questioned lightly. She looked over at Sora and he began to shake his head.

"He can only see darkness now… he can sense you though. It's strange," Sora replied lightly. Kairi frowned and drew her eyebrows together as she stared, again, at the moonlit floor.

It's hard, sometimes, to fully understand something that's just so unimaginably unpredictable such as this. Kairi's mind was trying to accept the fact of reality that she was back with her friends, back with Sora, at least. She found it difficult to believe that Riku had turned into a heartless shadow. Sora was still good though, she was still good.

"What about you, Sora?" Kairi questioned softly after a few minutes of silence. Sora looked at her blankly.

"I just… I got here two years after Riku did," he spoke gently. Kairi nodded slowly. She thought hard about something and recalled a conversation from the previous night.

"Wha-um… What did Riku mean but it being _too late_ for me?" Kairi asked.

"You've seen the darkness," Sora replied monotonously. Kairi furrowed her brow in confusion. Sora saw this and tried to explain. "Um… Do you remember how you got here?" Sora asked. Kairi shook her head softly and then bit her lip. After a few moments of silence a recollection of memories came flooding back to her.

"He told me not to open my eyes, but I did… and I let go of his hand," Kairi spoke in sudden realization. "It was like I was drowning… In a sea of anguish… like this big, black mass had engulfed me externally _and_ internally… I couldn't breath, I couldn't think- ouch!" Kairi drew her hand up toward her forehead where Sora had touched her deep cut.

"And then you blanked out… and that's how you got this," he finished for her. Kairi nodded slowly as she drew her hand away. They sat in another strange silence. Suddenly Sora looked over at Kairi and gave her the saddest look she had ever seen. She questioned his stare with her own as he bit his lip and gazed at her with his blue-gray eyes, a look of nothing but pure anguish laced his face. "I-I'm sorry, Kairi…" he spoke softly as he looked down. "I've already put you through enough… But now you're here and it's all my fault," Kairi stared up at him, taking in all that he had been through, four years of hell a thousand times greater than her own. And suddenly she felt very guilty, for she had never even considered anything but her own self-induced sorrows. Kairi hesitantly took him in her arms, placing his head upon her shoulder.

"Damn it, Kairi, it's not fair for you to have to go through this…" Sora exclaimed, drowning in his agony.

"You'll be here… Right?" Kairi questioned softly.

"I won't be myself… God, look at me, Kairi! Look at me and tell me honestly that you know who this is!" he exclaimed as he stood up before her. Kairi studied him, his taller frame, his darker eyes, his darker hair… he wasn't smiling. Kairi choked slightly. He was right… she did not know him, not like this, and it frightened her to such a point where it hurt. She didn't want this; she wanted Sora… old Sora, clean and simple. She felt a tear stream down her face and she had to look away. Sora sighed and sat back down next to her, taking her weary body in his arms, gently resting her head on his shoulder. Kairi choked back another sob.

"I don't care… I-I just want to be with you, Sora… Even if it means giving away my soul. All I… ever wanted was to be with you… my one selfish wish," Kairi spoke gently as she closed her eyes and let Sora gently rock her into another depressed sleep.


	7. A Dark Illusion

:AN: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. Jeeze. Well, I wrote this chapter without realizing it and, well… It's kind of creepy in my opinion. No guidelines. It's not edited either. Someday… I will edit them. I will. But until I get complaints… or reviewers… I will not edit them. Bwahahahaha! Nevermind. Sick nasty Lei is on vacation this week, so I might just write some more chapters. I doubt I'll finish this anytime soon. We're in for a looooong ride. Tee hee. Your fabulous Jay… I mean Lei. Just read.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter seven 

He stood on the beach, allowing the warm sun to spill over him. He watched quietly as his life unfolded before his eyes, bringing back an array of memories that sank too deep to count. The gentle waves lapped against the shore as the shimmering blue water reflected the midday sky. He felt so pure, so innocent. Though the sting of his insolvent soul still sauntered within his heart. His soft brown hair swept gently across his sun kissed face, a face that had not met such daylight in many years. He could almost feel the warm breeze as it caressed his ice-cold skin.

He was not a child anymore, though a seemingly youthful look of depressed enchantment laced his face. He had seen too much in his short-lived life to be considered anything less than a tainted entity. His eyes were dark, faded by years of shallow remorse. His poise was stiff and his thoughts were nothing close to innocent. And his voice… his voice spoke as hollow as the crooked sand beneath his calloused feet. The seagulls called above his head, but they did not make a sound.

"Sora," called a gentle voice, washed away in a distance too far to tell. He stood there silently, unaware of his reality.

Maybe he was young again… Maybe, in time, he would forget all that burdened him. Every memory that lay upon his soul must, at sometime, fade; must it not? His emotions ran too deep, they were too twisted to recall. As a child, he had seen nothing but pure innocence. A life to untainted by the grim world of fate he had been soon destined to endure. It had all happened too soon, too much, too fast for him to realize that it was not destiny he was falling into, it was darkness. There was no way out. Or so he though…

"Sora!" came that unwavering voice once more. Sora turned to his right to see a girl running up before him. He eyed her as her figure became closer. Her short, auburn hair slid before her beaming, violet eyes. A grin splayed across her face as she stopped before him to catch her breath. Something about this girl made him smile. It was a feeling so chaste… so unbelievably clean that he felt his heart skip a beat. She giggled slightly as he was taken aback. He could not feel this way. It was forbidden.

"Sora!" she shouted, though her voice did not match her façade. She sounded urgent and burdensomely sorrowful. He stared at her in compassionate wonder.

"What do want, Kairi?" he questioned softly, as he ran a hand down her face, her skin felt soft. He smiled.

"Open your eyes, Sora…" Kairi insisted. She spoke in a low whisper, grasping his hand tightly in hers.

"You're mad… My eyes _are_ opened," he spoke back as he tried to take his hand away, but she kept it in her grip.

"God, Sora, wake up!" Kairi shouted. She suddenly felt himself jolt up, his eyes bolting open. He found himself sitting up next to and exceedingly worried Kairi, her hand grasping his wrist. He looked over at her and she blushed slightly, throwing her gaze to the bed sheets.

"You… um… were asleep. And…" Kairi trailed off slightly. Sora eyed her curiously and she sighed. "You seemed a wreck… mumbling stuff and tossing about… I-I wondered if I should wake you and then you began to speak of-" Kairi stopped and looked up at him. Sora stared forward, at the dark wall before the foot of the bed, and furrowed his brow slightly.

"…I'm sorry if I said something bad… I-" Sora stopped as well as he heard Kairi giggle slightly. "What's so funny?"

"No, it's nothing you need to apologize for. It's just… You seemed to be speaking to me, as if we were… Like, young again," Kairi laughed. She stopped. She stared up at him with a smile as he looked down at her with a confusing look. "You know. It-it was just, kind of bizarre… that's all," Kairi whispered. Sora grunted and ripped the covers off of himself and began to walk towards the door. Kairi stared at him, slightly confused, and then bolted out after him.

"Wait… Did I say something?" Kairi questioned as she followed him through the door. She wrapped a gray, wool blanket around her for warmth. Sora didn't answer. "Where are you going?" she asked as she hurriedly followed him down a darkened corridor.

"Stop following me," Sora said in an angry whisper as he walked quickly. Kairi struggled to keep up, a lack of strength.

"You're not just going to leave me alone in that room for the rest my life, Sora… Why are you acting like this?" Kairi questioned. He didn't reply and just kept moving. The corridors were dark and cold; similar to the emotions Kairi was feeling from her estranged friend at this time. Was he angry? She hadn't said anything hurtful, had she? No, no she hadn't.

"What's wrong?" she questioned as she began to slow down. Sora turned around into a new hallway as Kairi followed. She was beginning to feel exceedingly ignored and her irrational irritation became overwhelmingly overthrown by a sense of depressed confusion. It was an emotion that seemed to be forever entangled within her shallow heart.

Sora grabbed an unlit torch off of the wall and muttered _fira_ beneath his breath, setting the passageway alit with a modest flame. Kairi struggled to keep up with him. Her lack of food began to kick in. "Go back!" Sora yelled as he used the fire to find his way down the right corridor. He suddenly took a sharp right and Kairi fell against the corner, holding herself up as she slammed a hand upon the rough wall.

"It's not an unfamiliar phrase," Kairi spoke, slightly out of breathe. She watched as Sora's form stopped a few feet away from her. Kairi sighed with a laugh of depressed reminiscence. "Ever since I met you, Sora, you were always telling me to go back… That I was too weak or too timid," Kairi continued in a hushed voice. "You never let me go with you… You never did!" Kairi shouted slightly as she felt tears surface at the rims of her eyes.

"I never said that," Sora whispered lightly.

"No, it was always you and Riku, you and Tidus," she took a breath. "I was always the captive, Sora, never the savior!" she shouted slightly. A few tears slipped from her eyes and her body shook within the blanket. She bit her quivering lip lightly. "But you were right… I was too weak," she let out. "I was too weak,"

"You're not weak," Sora spoke. Kairi furrowed her brow sharply.

"Then why can't I know? Why the hell must my life be one big secret to me?" Kairi exclaimed as she took no care to the tears that poured down her face. She stared sharply at his back. "For one damn moment I want you to treat me like you-you would Riku, or Tidus!" Kairi shouted. She let out a light sob and whipped short strands of hair away from her face. "Why can't it just be you and _me_."

Sora stood silently, barely breathing. He was completely still. Kairi kept her gaze plastered on his form, though her eyes slowly drifted from his back to the opposite wall. She leaned her back against the corner and attempted to calm her sobs.

Suddenly, Kairi felt an overwhelming sensation take over her body. It was as if someone had just dumped a full ocean of sorrow above her head and she found herself drowning in a sea of remorse. She couldn't breath. She struggled within a meaningless darkness; so unexpected, so unexplainable.

She clawed her head as she felt it pound through her skull. It felt like something was uncontrollably tearing her apart bit by bit. Her knees gave out before her and she sank to the ground. She struggled to breath, still sobbing. _What's going on? _She tried to ask, but her words came out as a twisted scream. Her voice shattered the silence of the corridor and Sora felt himself shift around. He gaped at her as she struggled in pain.

"Oh God," he mumbled softly as he quickly raced over to her. He kneeled before her tense form and held the torch above her head. She pressed her hand up against the large cut on her face, feeling fresh blood ooze through her fingers. Her eyes were shut intensely; the lids pressed so tightly together that it looked painful. Her eyes felt like they were being cut open with jagged knives. She dug her fingernails into her temple, cutting into her flesh. She let out another jagged scream that ripped through the cold, heavy air.

Sora grabbed her arms, setting the torch into a holder. She jolted back, trying to control this feeling of insane distortion. All she felt was pain.

"Calm down, it's okay," Sora spoke gently as he intensely tried to steady her. Tears poured from her shut eyes and ran rapid down her red cheeks. Her reality washed away as painful recollections of her past stormed back before her eyes. Every jagged emotion she had ever once felt cam thundering like a whirlwind of remorse. She felt as though she was being torn down into the fiery depths of hell.

Sora rubbed her arms gently, trying with all of his power to ease her trembling. "Damn it Kairi, it won't go away unless you calm down," Sora whispered gently. She shook violently as one last scream escaped her lips. She sobbed, falling into Sora's arms. She held her head in her hands, not able to rid her thoughts of this tormented agony. It hit her out of nowhere. This was exactly how she felt when she first entered this world, with Riku.

Kairi gasped, fighting for air, but able to see. She slowly opened her eyes as the sea of anguish suddenly washed away. She was left daunted by what had just happened. It felt like a weight had just been lifted from her heavy heart. She sat there, in a state of calmed panic. She felt her heart racing, tearing through her chest. She grasped Sora, twisting her fingers around the fabric of his shirt. She trembled, pressing her head against his chest. Tears flowed from her eyes like rain, never ceasing to fall. Her face was pale and she sobbed loudly, her whole body shaking within his strong grasp. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her against him.

"W-wh-" Kairi stuttered, but couldn't force the words.

"Shhhh," Sora hushed as he rocked her in his arms. "You're okay," he assured affectionately.

"Is… is it o-over?" Kairi struggled, shivering in the cold. Sora bit his lip and wrapped the stiff blanket around her bare arms.

"No," he shook his head lightly as he held her closer. He stared ahead at the shady wall, the light of the flame casting an eerie glow over its dark surface. "It's just beginning."

Kairi let her eyelids close gently over her weary eyes. She loosened her grip on him and let her arms fall before her. She drifted slowly out of painful consciousness as a depressed sleep took over her. One last tear slid down her chapped face.

"I'm sorry…" Sora whispered as he held her against him. "… It's me and you now, forever this time…" Sora whispered softly into thin air. He laid his chin atop her head and closed his own eyes gently. "…I promise."


	8. Tainted Hearts

:AN: Hmmm… Wow, some reviews from different people. This is a first. I am much surprised. Yep. And sorry about the overuse of certain words… I am aware that I tend to repeat the same words over and over forever. It would greatly help if maybe I edited a little. It's a fault and I am greatly sorry.

Actually. I just kind of edited all of my previous chapters… not that you can call it editing… but I didn't notice an obvious overuse of the word "tenderly". Nevertheless I cut it out the few times I found it to make some anonymous reviewer happy. And I promise that I will not use tenderly once in this chapter… Well, maybe once. Though, I didn't plan on it. If anything, you should be complaining about my overuse of words such as "tainted" or "innocent". I use innocent a lot… Well, it's a nice word and I like it. I don't have a particular fondness for the word "tenderly" or "tender". It reminds me of meat… ew. _Tender._ It's used once in chapter 1, once in chapter 2, never in chapter 3, twice in chapter 4, once in chapter 5, once in chapter 6, and never in chapter 7. OCD? Perchance. I'm sorry. Well anyway, I hope that will do. I just also hope that I didn't replace them with words that I also use in excess… Oh well. I don't want to keep you from reading this "wonderful" chapter.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter eight 

He sat in a dark room, his soft brown hair falling gently before his faded blue eyes. The cement floor was cold; it seeped through his skin yet he seemed not to care. He had long since grown accustomed to this bitter place. The air didn't sting as hard anymore against his skin and the darkness didn't seem to bother him. He leaned back against an equally chilling cement wall, resting his head on the heard surface. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He was lost deep in thought, so deep that he couldn't think.

"Sora!" came a quick and sharp voice from the darkness. Sora shot up, sitting so straight that it looked painful. He stared up, but didn't see anything but the dark room in which he sat.

"What do you want?" he questioned harshly. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin atop his arms.

"You seem a mess, what could possibly be bothering you?" questioned the voice in biting sarcasm. Sora glared at the darkness and grunted lightly. "Would you like anything? I have toast, would you like some toast?"

"Leave me alone," Sora sighed in a depressed whisper. He turned his gaze over to a darkened wall and stared through it in sorrow.

"It's very good toast, I put some cinnamon on it. You like cinnamon, Sora, don't you?" the voice questioned in a light tone. "I for-"

"No, I do not like cinnamon," Sora stated flatly.

"Oh… oh yes, I remember it now. That time whe-"

"Go away!" Sora shouted as he bolted his head up and glared harder into the darkness of the room. A figure slowly began to appear from the shadows just as if a shield of invisibility had dissolved around her. She had medium length blonde hair and dark black eyes. She stared down at Sora in surprise.

"Whell, don't we have a temper today, Mr. Sora?" she spoke, crossing her arms before her chest. She wore what looked like a long black cloak, a short black skirt and a pair of black boots that laced up to her knees. Her layered hair fell down before her face and spilled over her shoulders as she looked down in almost amusement. Sora glared at her and shook his head.

"Why must you insist on making my life nothing short of hell every second you get the chance to?" Sora questioned. "Haven't you had all your fun yet?" he wavered as she sent him a sly grin.

"Oh, Sora… little naïve Sora… Still so young," she smiled lightly. "Still so very much to learn," she shook her head.

"I just want to be alone… Why can't you just leave me alone!" Sora shouted.

"Aw, don't get youwself awl worked up now, I'm only twying to bwing a wittle darkness to your day," she stated in a mock pout. Sora sighed.

"Would you stop treating me like a child?" Sora exclaimed. She smiled.

"Only when you stop acting like one," she replied. She placed her hands on her hips and stared at him. "Why can't you be more like your friend Riku? He's such a good boy." Sora glared at her.

"If anything he's the one acting like a child! What the hell have done that can even be considered close to childish?" Sora shouted. She thought about it and fell silent. "See! You can't even think of one,"

"Must I remind you who I am, Sora! I do not need your slander!" she shouted. Sora backed off slightly. "Look at you now! Drowning in your own pathetic sorrow. You are crying for solace!"

"I am not crying!" Sora exclaimed. She smiled slyly.

"You are not crying…" she mimicked lightly in disgust. "You are not crying! You're right, you are not crying! You are denying is what you are doing!" she shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sora questioned in an angry whisper. She snorted slightly.

"That's right, you are denying. Your new little friend there, what's her name?" she put a finger to her chin in ponderous thought. Sora glared at her with all the anger he could muster. "Ah yes, Kairi. He he he, that pathetic excuse for a girl-"

"Stop it," Sora hissed as she threw him a grin.

"She's too chaste, too pure. The darkness will consume her, Sora. It's already beginning… She'll surely die. I'll give her a week, two at the most," she spoke.

"Shut-up! Just shut-up!" Sora exclaimed.

"That's what I'm talking about, you won't except it, Sora! The darkness likes pure hearts. She is completely unflawed," she smiled. "In fact, I have not seen a heart that pure… Oh wait, I have once before… yes…" she smiled satanically. Sora glared at her so intensely that it hurt his head. He slowly rose to his feet and rested his back against the wall as she approached him.

"One heart… so pure, heh, so untainted," she spoke softly as she looked up into Sora's eyes, past his eyes. She ran a hand tenderly down his jaw. "You remember it, don't you? That little boy, about 15 years old…" she smiled menacingly as Sora found an uncontrollable emotion well up in his eyes.

"The poor thing was not used to so much sorrow, so much unchaste emotions. Yes, you must remember, I can see it in your eyes," she laughed lightly as she stepped even closer. "He would have died… It was too much, too soon, too fast. A human heart can only take so much darkness. And that anguish cannot resist the temptation to take over… it desires the pure innocence only a completely untainted heart can provide. "You were so naïve…"

"Shut the hell up!" Sora exclaimed as forgotten memories tore at his heart. He held back the tears, he was stronger now. She sighed and smiled as Sora turned his face away from her.

"She's just like you were, Sora… Just like you," she smiled wickedly. "I couldn't just stand around and watch the darkness take over you like that, you would have died within a few days. I had to do something," Sora bit his lip and let out a soft sob. He closed his eyes sharply and held the wall for support, trying to get his body as far away from hers as possible. "And I- we did do something, didn't we Sora? We fixed you," she smiled lightly as she ran her hand down Sora's neck.

"Fix me?" Sora spat in outrage. "Hardly!"

"Heh, come on Sora. You can't deny it… You know you like it. A small fraction of you longs endlessly for errant temptation. You passionately desire this sin, you know you do, deep down you are just like the rest of us," she smiled evilly.

"No, No! I am not like you! I would have gone, I would have died!" Sora exclaimed.

"Heh, I gave you a choice, Sora," he glared down at her, staring daggers into her eyes. He denied it, he refused to accept it, but she was right.

"Mira?" Came a dark and all too familiar voice from the shadows. The two of them turned around to meet an all too equally familiar figure approaching.

"Not now Riku, I'm teaching little Sora a lesson I though he learned a long time ago," Mira replied. "Anyway… You see Sora; your little friend has a choice as well. She can choose to die-"

"Kairi is not going to die!" Sora exclaimed in anger. Mira grinned in satanic pleasure.

"Then you know what you have to do Sora, you know it's the only way," Mira smiled. Sora looked over at Riku, he smirked as well. That's when Sora felt it; Riku was no longer on his side. Never again would they be friends, never again. He stood there, looking at both of them. It was no longer fair. Everything was against him, more than it ever had been before. He was powerless, he was weak.

"No…" Sora mumbled lightly. He looked down at Mira as the smile faded from her face.

"You'll allow her to suffer, to drown helplessly in darkness?" she questioned in unimagined doubt.

"She can't, she won't suffer!" Sora exclaimed.

"Ha ha ha, still you have learned nothing! You're such an insolent child!" Mira spat in laughter. "You've lived it Sora, you know how it feels. It will be ten times worse for her because she is weak!"

"She's not weak!" Sora exclaimed.

"You are mistaken my boy, oh, you are mistaken," Mira exclaimed in utter amusement.

"I won't do it! I can't do that to her," Sora hissed.

"Then the girl shall die!" Mira proclaimed in annoyed enjoyment.

"She won't die!" Sora yelled in reply. He broke, tears of anger welled within his eyes. Riku cleared his throat.

"She is only important to us if she stays alive. If she dies, then we will have no use for her," Riku stated.

"She is of little use anyway. Nothing but a pathetic girl,"

"Don't say that!" Sora shouted. "If you have little use for her than I must be of no use at all!"

"Oh no, the contrary me dear Sora, you are plenty useful. Your power is undeniable. Heck, you could destroy the world if you so desired!" Mira announced. "You're just too naïve to understand how to use your force. You're still too consumed in childish nonsense to realize what a use you truly are," she explained.

"Oh, yes, that's right. I'm your fucking toy! You enjoy that, don't you?" Sora exclaimed.

"Actually, I wouldn't say toy… Toy's are for children. You're more of, a, um… device with which to entertain myself," she smiled.

"You only want me so that you can control me, to take over the world for you," Sora spoke.

"Oh Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora… That was my father who wanted to take over the world, remember? Not me. I just want to make you happy. I don't want you to live out in a cruel, harsh world where you were so vulnerable to breakage. Here, you will never die! I want to _show _the world how great darkness can be when it controls your life. You don't feel pain; you don't feel sorrow-" Mira spoke happily.

"That's not it at all! You drain us, you kill us! What is a human who doesn't feel, who is completely numb! I still feel pain, Mira! I still feel sorrow, I'm just so accustomed to it that it feels right!" Sora exclaimed as his voice broke. He glared at her as he sank back down to his knees. Mira eyed him and frowned. She kneeled down before him and grasped his shoulders tightly. He turned his gaze away from her as she spoke in a hushed whisper.

"Imagine being born that way, being born like Riku is now. Never knowing pain, never experiencing anguish, never suffering. It would be a better world, Sora. You'd never cry or be sad-"

"There'd be no compassion! No one would love!" Sora exclaimed as tears welled again in his faded sapphire eyes. "You wouldn't feel pain, you wouldn't feel anything! There would be nothing but hate! That's what darkness teaches you, it teaches you how to hate!"

"You don't understand, I'd be creating a world where no one have to suffer! Imagine your life if you never felt remorse." They both fell silent as a tear ran down Sora's face.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe that's what makes us human? What other creature is capable of our spectrum of emotions! There is nothing stronger than the bond between two human beings, whether it be love, or friendship, or just compassion, pure and simple. You'd be tearing apart the entire meaning of eternity! Where would life be? Where would adventure go? What would be the point of living if one's life was simply a large void of numb hatred?" they both fell silent again, the only sound coming from Sora's jagged breaths. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and held his composure.

"And what, now, is the point of living… When we are only living to die?" Mira questioned in a harsh whisper. She gave Sora one long, sharp look and bolted back to her feet. Sora glared down at the cold, hard cement floor and bit his lip. "I didn't let you die, Sora. I could have let you die. Just remember that," she spoke lowly. "There is compassion in my hollow heart."

"You have no heart." Sora hissed beneath his breath. Mira flooded with anger. She suddenly took Sora by the neck and raised him up against the cement wall. His feet dangled a few inches from the ground as she choked him. He quickly grabbed her wrists, unable to think of a logical way to tear her away from him.

"You forget who I am," she stated in an angry whisper as she glared up at him, flames in her black eyes. He tried to shake his head. "Your stupid little friend will not die, you can be certain of that," she breathed in a low, angry tone. "Riku can have her… I'll allow him to taint her innocence," she gave him a hateful grin that faded quickly. Warm tears leaked from Sora's eyes as he struggled to breath.

"No," he exclaimed in a muted whisper. He fought against her grasp, but was powerless to resist her.

"Then you will," Mira stated in an almost satisfied tone. Sora did not reply and felt her grip tighten around his throat. "You will die right now, Sora. I will kill you!" Sora bit his lip and pretended his wasn't listening. "She only came here for you, Sora… That's the only reason she is here. If I kill _you_, than-"

"Fine," Sora exclaimed in a soft, raspy tone, not able to speak. Mira cocked her head to one side.

"What was that?" she questioned lightly, looking into Sora's wet and angry eyes.

"I'll do it! I swear… I'll do it," Sora choked. Mira dropped him with a satisfied grin as he crashed against the hard cement. She crossed her arms and stared down at him in pitiless content.

"Good boy," she spoke lightly as she turned to Riku. He smiled at her and followed as she began to walk away.

Sora reached his hand up to his head and rubbed at it aggressively. He closed his eyes and wiped the tears from his red face. He glared at the darkened room; he glared so hard that his head hurt. He bit his lip and sat there, never wanting to open his eyes again. Wishing that maybe he'd wake up and find he was at his own island, his own home, his own room. He wished, more than anything else, to be fourteen again. To rewrite his fate, to repave his destiny. He didn't want this anymore. He didn't enjoy watching his life slowly slip away, but it killed him to know that he'd have to watch hers, Kairi's. He couldn't do it. He wasn't strong enough to handle it. He was weak. Nothing but weak.

* * *

:AN: Woot, that was a loooong one. Sorry if it's a little confusing. I've been playing with ideas. I have no idea where the secondary plot is going… I'm not good at creative stuff, only slightly cliché emotional crap. It's my forte:) Well, if this chapter was too… meh for ya, the next should be less meh… can't wait! Well, see yas in chappie nine! WoW. . . . n-i-n-e. Tee hee.

Oh, and thanks toALL of my reviewers. There are too many now. Sad, when, like, five is too many. Anyway, I like reviewers. But I also like twinkies and strawberry-banana smoothies. SO, instead of sending yer kind reviews...ha ha. jk lol. always wanted to do that. Ignore me, my brain has yet to waken.


	9. A Familiar Heartache

:AN: (clears throat) … Enjoy.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter nine

A most curious light seeped through the air, washing the surrounding area with tones of violet and deep blue. But it wasn't darkness, it wasn't _just_ darkness. She opened her eyes slowly, still a bit tired. Everything seemed like a daze now, she could no longer remember the last time she was awake. Well, she remembered it, but it was foggy. She had been asleep for nearly a day. It was amazing that just a few days ago she never slept, and now, here, she seemed to be always asleep. She liked it here, she never dreamt. Well, if she did dream, she didn't remember them. Half the reason she never slept at home was because of the nightmares, the horrible recollections of her sorrowful past. She'd wake up in a panic almost every night. It got to the point where she was actually afraid to sleep, afraid to close her eyes. She didn't like reliving it, or even thinking about her past. So much had happened to her when she was young, so much, and at such a tender age. But that was her past; she knew she couldn't change it.

She woke now, not to the slightly familiar air of the room she had first slept in, but outside. She was set down on a blanket atop a ground of tall grass. The grass looked violet too. The dew reflected the deep, sapphire sky. Kairi yawned and sat up, letting the wool blanket slide off of her shoulders. It wasn't as cold out here as it was in that dark place. She felt comfortable, a greater solace. She looked around, her eyes slowly falling from one object to another. There were lots of trees, tall trees. And then, in the near distance she could see a lake… it was surely a lake, yet it did not end. It spanned out like and sea, but it seemed to have no waves. It was calm, eerily calm. She remembered it, when she had looked out that window up in that room. She remembered seeing the sky, but she couldn't see the ground. It was bizarre. She let out a soft sigh and stood up.

_Where to go?_ Kairi questioned herself. She had no idea. This place was so unfamiliar to her. And there seemed to be no one who wanted to show her around, tell her what to do. She was used to a lack of guidance, but it's different when you're somewhere you know nothing about, a place so big and unimaginably mysterious.

Her eyes wandered over to the lake's edge where she noticed a figure sitting there, his back to her. Kairi smiled slightly, finding a touch of familiar in a world so foreign. She slowly began to walk toward him, knowing he would lend some guidance, at least. The grass felt strange on her bare feet. She had grown so accustomed to the hard floors in that place, whatever it was. She bit her lip and sat down beside him, watching as his gaze shifted over her and then darted back into the water. She stared at him, a simple expression washed over her face.

Neither of them spoke for some time, not knowing what to say. Sora just stared down at the oddly calm water. It looked like glass, a mirror. His reflection glared up at him, mocking him like it always did. Kairi eyed him curiously, knowing there was something on his mind. There was always something on Sora's mind; Kairi learned that a long time ago. It had only been four years… Four years. He hadn't changed much, aside from the fact that he was, now, a completely different person. Kairi accepted that. She was different too, no matter how hard she'd try to deny it. But that's really all she knew how to do, deny. She was pretty good at it.

Sora quickly drew his gaze away from the water and stared out over the horizon. Kairi sighed and looked down at the water's edge.

"Do you miss it?" Kairi questioned lightly. She fingered the pebbled ground gently, twisting blades of grass around her finger.

"Hmm… Miss what?" Sora asked with a questioning stare. Kairi looked up at him with a blank expression on her pale face.

"Home… our island," she spoke softly. Sora sat still as he let his gaze shift down to the ground.

"I… um, I don't remember it that well, actually," he replied lightly. Kairi bit her lip again and looked up at his face. "But… I miss what I do remember. If that makes any sense," Kairi nodded.

"What do you remember?" she asked quietly. Sora looked down on her and smiled. He thought about it for a moment.

"I remember… The sun and the sand…" he said lightly. Kairi grinned.

"Do you remember the ocean?" she solicited. Sora nodded slowly.

"Well of course, it was an island wasn't it? You can't have an island unless there's an ocean." Sora smiled. Kairi agreed silently and brushed some pebbles into the water, enjoying the look of it as it rippled.

"Do you remember… the sunset?" she asked as she kept her attention on the ground.

"Yeah… And I'd watch it with you, right? On that dock?" Kairi nodded excitedly.

"We'd sit right at the end, and we'd talk. Just you and me," Kairi smiled. "And we'd tell each other secrets," she giggled.

"Hmmm…" Sora pondered reflectively as he looked out over the water.

"Do you remember how I told you that me and Riku shared a poupu?" Kairi questioned lightly with a grin. Sora smiled and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I think I got mad at you," Sora replied.

"You weren't mad, you were jealous," Kairi snorted.

"I was not. I was definitely mad because-"

"You wanted to share one with me… You were jealous," Kairi spoke happily with a grin. "You told me that you didn't care, but I knew you did because your face got all red and you kept saying that poupus were stupid and that you didn't believe in them anymore," Kairi spoke.

"I lied. I believed in them," Sora replied softly. Kairi stared at him as he looked over the water. He turned to her and she looked down quickly.

"I lied too… I never shared a poupu with Riku," she admitted quietly.

"What?" Sora exclaimed in outrage. Kairi grinned. "Why'd you do that?"

"Heh… I wanted to see how you'd react," she spoke in pleasure. "It was pretty amusing."

"What's so amusing about me sending death threats to Riku over something _you _just made up?" Sora spoke.

"I know, you didn't talk to him for a month," Kairi giggled. Sora sighed and looked down. Kairi sighed too, leaning over slightly, resting her weight on her elbow. "We shared one though, remember? The night before you left," Sora looked down at her with a blank expression as she played insatiably with the long blades of blue grass. A silence washed over them and Kairi slowly let her gaze drift up to his face. She sighed, figuring he probably didn't remember that.

"You know… I stopped believing in it, the legend. I never thought I'd see you again, therefore, how could our destinies be connected, right?" Kairi began quietly. "But now… I guess it is true," she spoke softly as she let her eyes sink down onto the ground. She couldn't explain why, but she suddenly felt very sad, very homesick. "I found your letter." Kairi mumbled beneath her breath. Sora looked down at her in confusion.

"What letter?" he questioned as Kairi kept her gaze plastered on the ground. She laid still, pondering whether she should bring it up. Maybe he had forgotten about it, it was just a silly letter anyway. She sighed and didn't answer.

The soft, violet glow spilled down from a starless sky. There was nothing but still water reflecting miles of empty clouds. There was no moon, nor was there a sun. As people get older, they tend to forget. When their childhood slips away from them, so do the memories. They fade; they may even burn out altogether. Our innocence is locked within our memories, and when our memories fade our innocence slips away. It's all very simple really. We can never get that innocence back, but memories can be rebuilt in time. That is fate, when all we have left is our memories, recollections of our past. It may not seem like much, but that's life. We love to hate. We rise to fall. We live to die.


	10. Forever Time

:AN: AH! C'est mon third update today! Woot! Hemmm, ends kind of fruity, but hey, I've been watching a lot of fruity movies lately because there had been nothing good on TV. Therefore, I'm not getting good inspiration aside from that of fruity little movies… Point noted. Well, have a nice life.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter ten

Sora and Kairi had never been the type to sit together in silence. They lived in each other's words, drowned in their own conversations. Obviously, things had changed. A once laughter filled youth had turned into a more distant existence. Kairi, for one, had always had a sort of fondness for Sora, though she would never admit it. They were best friends, the very best. Sora, on the other hand, had always come to her for laughter, for comfort. She always knew just how to cheer him up. Though, in the later years of their childhood, he grew a strong Attachment to her. In other words, he had a huge crush on her. He, as well as her, were way to shy to say anything. But he showed it, subliminally, yet far too often. It was painfully obvious how he felt. Though, he never quite understood it himself. He was always doing strange things, like competing with Riku for her attention, or accidentally telling her how pretty she looked when the sun caught her eyes at just the right moment. He never knew, he ever tried to understand that she felt exactly the same way. Though, she was better at hiding it.

They were a sad pair, the two of them. Sora had an undying suspicion that Kairi liked Riku. This wasn't entirely false, yet, it was just one of those teenage girl crushes. She loved Sora, she really believed that. Riku now, there was no doubt about his liking Kairi either. This is where Kairi liked to play. She'd pretend she liked Sora around Riku and she'd pretend she liked Riku around Sora. Satanic, I know, but very true. She had a strange way of expressing her emotions, quite strange indeed. Leave it up to the confused, teenage girl to ruin the perfect friendship between the three ideal children.

Now, as Kairi watched Sora, she could still feel it, that insatiable longing that most teenage girls get when they discover their first _real_ crush. Only now, she was older. She knew better than to play games. For, it was those twisted games she used to play that screwed them all up. And surely Riku was no longer in the picture. It was just the two of them. That, and the threatening force they were doomed to be submitted to. No bother, though, Kairi had little knowledge of this. She figured that what she didn't know might hurt her, but as long as she didn't know it was hurting her, she was just fine… If that makes any sense at all.

The dark colors of the still violet sky washed endlessly over the world. It was as if the entire spectrum of their surroundings were forever caught in a late sunset, right before the last rays of the dying sun sunk down beneath the calm water of the endless horizon. It was eerily peaceful.

"I've missed you like crazy, Sora," Kairi whispered lightly under her breath, not entirely intended for him to hear. Sora looked down at her, his dark brown hair falling, as it always did, before his eyes. Kairi sighed and shifted her gaze up towards him. A sad smile laced her lips as she stared into his eyes. They once held such a brilliant sapphire glow, so deep and full of life. She could never have imagined them like they are now, faded and gray. It was as if someone had drained all of the happiness, all of the sincere joy out of them. It was slightly concerning. "You know that… right?"

Sora looked at her warmly. He smiled softly and bit his lip, nodding in response. He leaned back, setting his hand atop the cool ground. "I've missed you too," he spoke lightly. Kairi smiled as she sat up. She stared down into the lake, watching her reflection. She took her hand and gently ran it through the glassy surface. It was surprisingly warm.

"I never thought I'd see you again," she stated in a sweet whisper. "And now… I have you, Sora, but… but it doesn't feel right, you know?" Sora stared at her in a questioning manner. She furrowed her brow and stared down at the surface of the lake. "You were supposed to come back… Not get yourself pulled into this. I-I just, it's so unbelievable."

"If it makes you feel any better, I could have just died. Is that more believable?" Kairi stared over at him, pondering his tone. "I had a choice…"

"A choice?" she questioned in a hushed whisper. There was so much she didn't know. Her knowledge seemed to barely even skim the surface of her new existence.

"I was too 'pure'… The darkness would have killed me, it was too much for me to handle because- because I was too young, too innocent…" Sora began slowly. She didn't understand, staring at him like he was insane. "I was scared, I was scared of the darkness… of death. She told me not be afraid because I was strong, that there was something she could do…"

"Who- who's _she_?" Kairi questioned shakily. Talking about it obviously opened up some kind of forgotten emotions for Sora.

"Mira… she, she's like the ruler of this place. She's twisted… obsessed with the darkness. She insists on _making the world nothing but a darkened void in which people do not suffer or feel pain. _She wants to drain all existence of everything pure and innocent," Sora explained. "Do you get it now?" Kairi looked down in ponderous thought. She expected to get it, but something felt awkward, out of place.

"There'd be no love… just hate," Kairi spoke tenderly. Sora nodded slowly. "Like… Riku?" she questioned softly. Sora sighed and nodded again. Kairi frowned and eyed the ground intensely. "But… um, did Riku have a choice too? Could he have chosen to die as well?" she questioned in a hushed whisper.

Sora sat still and shook his head softly. "He had seen too much in his life to be given a choice. He was part of the darkness… it couldn't kill him," he replied softly. "But… When a heart as pure as mine, apparently, comes in contact with a force this strong it tears away at it, consumes it until there is nothing left," he continued. "It's kind of like a _really_ good ice cream Sundae… You'll eat it _all_ really fast because it's really good and it makes you happy. But then you get a really bad headache and your stomach hurts. But if the ice cream Sunday has nuts on it, and you absolutely hate nuts, then you'll kind of just pick around at it, _slowly_ eating the good stuff, but avoiding the bad stuff. You're still left with the bad stuff in the end, and you can survive on that, because it's still an ice cream sundae even though it just looks like a bowl of melted vanilla, sticky caramel and uneaten nuts… And, since you ate so slowly, you don't feel that bad… At least, you don't notice it, but you accidentally ate a nut and you're allergic, and now you're suffocating, but you don't realize it because… Because the ice cream still made you happy…" Sora trailed off. Kairi frowned slightly and forced a nod, slightly understanding.

"But… You had a choice, right? How… I don't-" Kairi spoke softly in simple confusion.

"Well, how do you make an ice cream sundae bad?" Sora questioned lightly, looking down at Kairi's intent form. She shrugged. "You add nuts to it."

"They added nuts to you?" she asked flatly. Sora snorted lightly as a grin rose to his lips.

"Not- um, not exactly…" Kairi smiled as she felt Sora's sudden happiness wash over her as well. Whenever he smiled everyone around him could never help but smile too. Not that it was a happy conversation. In fact, talking about darkness and the reality that Sora's last bit of pure innocence was being eaten away by the moment and Kairi was slowly dying without the faintest realization is simply one of the grimmest things in all of eternity to talk about. Yet, the innocence that still seethed within their souls were undeniably more powerful than the unchaste temptations that rang at their hearts. Well… he didn't smile much these days. It was like waiting for a miracle that never seemed to come.

Suddenly Sora rose to his feet, wiping the dirt off of his pants. Kairi looked up at him curiously. He reached out a hand to her and smiled. She shook her head in dismay.

"Come on, get up," he spoke gently as Kairi hesitantly grasped his hand and let him pull her to her feet. She watched as he stepped up to the water's edge, placing his foot on the glassy surface. It rippled out, but it didn't break. He slowly stepped over with his other foot, standing right atop of the water. Kairi shook her head.

"Wha-" she spoke, wondering what in all of the world he was trying to pull. He reached out both of his hands to her.

"Heh, take my hands," he said almost excitedly.

"No!" Kairi exclaimed immediately as Sora grabbed onto her hands. She looked at him like he was crazy, a wide grin on her face. "You're mad, I'll fall thro-" suddenly Sora took hold of both her wrists and pulled her out over the water's surface. She screamed and fell forward into his arms, holding onto him tightly. They stood on top of the water, as if it really were nothing but a large, glass, pane.

"You're okay, you're not going to fall," he said lightly looking down at her shocked form. Kairi pulled away slightly, slowly realizing he was right. She gasped calmly. It was the most bizarre and seemingly random thing. It was odd though; she had always wondered what it would feel like to be able to walk atop water, like elves or something. Kairi smiled softly, looking out over the endless horizon. "Cool, huh?" he questioned frivolously. Kairi turned to him and grinned. "I remember, you told me once that you wanted to walk on water. You said it'd be neat, like elves or something." Kairi let out a light laugh and Sora smiled.

"Yeah," she nodded as she approached him a little. "And I remember, you told me once that you wanted to fly…" Kairi giggled. Sora's expression immediately changed. He rose his eyebrows up in that playful manner that he used to show when he was trying _not_ be blatantly obvious about something. Kairi eyed him curiously. She shook her head and he just grinned.

"It's been too long, Kairi," Sora grinned as he took her hands again and his feet slowly lifted off of the water's surface.

"No, wait," Kairi begged as she, too, began to rise into the air. "Sora, no!" Kairi cried as she suddenly felt herself fall back down. She closed her eyes tightly and screamed as she felt her whole body submerge into the water. It felt warm in the cold air, but it was wet, quite wet. Kairi gasped as she threw her head up above the surface.

"Oh my God, Sora, what are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack!" Kairi exclaimed as she found him floating near to her, laughing. "It's not funny," she spoke in soft amusement. Sora let out a pleased sigh and swam up to her. "Heh, you haven't changed…" Kairi stated in a content whisper. She looked up at him as he stared down at her with satisfaction on his face. She smiled lightly, still a little shocked.

"I'm sorry," he whispered lightly as he stroked the wet strands of deep auburn hair out of her eyes, eyes that reflected the sweet violet of the sky. She looked up in confusion.

"That's alright… I don-"

"No. Not-not for that," Sora spoke gently as an almost sad expression washed over his face. Kairi eyed him intently. "I'm sorry that you have to be here, that-"

"Don't be sorry, Sora… Please," Kairi whispered tenderly as she stared up into his desperate eyes. Sora looked down at her, shaking his head gently. The water was so calm; flowing so gently around the two of them that it felt like the whole world had stopped.

"I love you Kairi," he whispered softly, every strain of emotion spilling out with his words. She stood there, unexplainable tears welling in her eyes. She bit her lip and nodded slowly.

"I-I know…" she replied gently as a tear streamed down her cheek. She slowly placed her hands onto his arms and wrapped them up around the back of his neck, pulling his head down to her own. She closed her eyes and kissed him gently, allowing herself to fall into his embrace. And suddenly, so many memories came back to her, replaying over and over in her mind as she slowly pulled away. The feeling was one she had been waiting for, longing for, for a long time. It was familiar, it was solace. And Kairi knew just then, that no matter what he looked like or how he acted, he hadn't changed. It was still him…

"I love you too," she whispered softly as she stared up at him and then tightly wrapped her arms around his back. "I will _always_ love you."

…He would forever be Sora.


	11. An Existance Unknown

:AN: Urm… Sorry if every chapter from now on is kind of… Bad. Beginning of a story, wonderful; end of a story, fabulous; but oh the middle… ah, it sucks. Damn you middle, damn you! Anyway, if it gets really awful, just don't read it until, like, I say it's getting better. Heh, not that it's really that good, but whatever you want… Whatever you want.

* * *

Sin's Remorse  
Chapter eleven

She sat in a dark room on what seemed like a sort of random overhang above another large space. There were two large staircases that spread down both sides of the room that lead up to where she sat. There were two large, wooden doors behind her that lead down another corridor. This castle was large and intricate. If you didn't pay attention it would seem that the halls would shift and the rooms would rearrange themselves. There would no longer be a staircase where you last saw one and those doors that lead to that secret room you loved to visit would be completely vanished the next day you went to find them. That's why you always had to be on guard in this place, always ready for something to be there in the dark, where you couldn't see in the light. There were certain reasons to be highly afraid of it, the darkness. For here, it was your enemy. It was your enemy.

"Riku?" she questioned softly, her blonde hair spilling in front of her eyes as she looked down. A dark figure appeared behind her within seconds. He stood still as she brought her gaze up, keeping her back to him. "Have you seen Sora?" She asked lightly as she played with her sleeves. Riku sighed.

"Would you like me to get him for you?" he questioned in reply.

"No you loon, I asked if you've seen him," spoke Mira. She sighed gravely. "Oh, never mind. What's the point?" she said as she looked up at the darkened ceiling. It was quite a tall ceiling, though hard to see. It rose up a good fifty feet or so, curving in as it went, eventually reaching one exact point.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked as he approached her and slowly sat beside her, dangling his feet off the edge of the overhang.

"What's your problem, Riku? I thought I sucked all of the compassion out of you…" spoke Mira in her usually blank tone.

"…Um," Riku thought lightly. "You did, but… There's nothing that says I can't care about you, right? Because you're practically just darkness too." Riku replied.

"Oh shove it, Riku. You know I don't like having these conversations," she said carelessly. She randomly swung her legs back and forth, thinking of what twisted thing she could do next. "You know. I don't understand him, Riku, that little friend of yours."

"Neither do I… But… I did once, right?" He questioned. Mira nodded slowly.

"Yes, you two were quite close as I recall. But you were different, the two of you. You were." She said lightly. "You know, _you_ got it easy in this place. Real easy. It's almost sad what he had to go through…"

"Hmm…" Riku agreed, nodding his head slowly. "Do you know what he saw?" he questioned lightly. Mira shook her head and sighed.

"I haven't the slightest clue," she replied emotionlessly. "But… It had to have been something pretty awful even for him. He'd seen death before, he'd known sorrow, but…" Mira spoke in a low voice. She fell silent and took a short breath.

"I still don't understand… What was so different about him?" Riku questioned. "I mean, like…" he trailed off, not knowing how to put his thoughts into words. Mira sat still and looked over at Riku, not able to see him through the darkness that forever coated her vision.

"I still don't know… I'd never seen anything like it. Usually, if you get someone young enough, innocent enough, they'd see enough here to taint them. This place is full of death, full of sin. They'd walk into the wrong room, find a forgotten memory. But Sora… No. It was like his heart was immune to darkness, so immune that everything he experienced here was a thousand times worse than any normal person…" spoke Mira. "Does that make sense?" Riku looked over at her, just as well blinded by the seething shadows as she was.

"Not… really," he replied lightly. Mira shrugged.

"Um… well, you know how darkness works, right?" Mira questioned. "It sucks you in and slowly attacks you, forcing you to relive every painful memory you'd ever experienced in your life. Only, the pain and emotions are multiplied. If you're heart is weak than the pain is weak. It's like the opposite of what you'd think it would be. The darkness, in order to take one's innocence, takes the tainted areas of the heart, the painful memories of one's past, and ignites them. You only think about these memories, right? And if your heart is weak than the darkness doesn't have to work as hard to drain this innocence. All you're left with is the painful recollections, the tainted memories. Eventually, like you, you forget these ones. One's heart can only live so long in sorrow. And so, you forget how to feel. You forget what it's like to feel pain because it's all you know," Mira spoke slowly. She ran her fingers along the ground, silently studying the deep engravements. "But… If you're heart is strong and purely innocent, than the darkness must use _great_ force to take over. But darkness is like a drug; it takes over, sometimes too fast. If there is not enough tainted memories for one to remember, say there's one or two, but they're strong, than the darkness will try and take over these memories too quickly, and it's too powerful. It's a slow process; memories slip away gradually, exceedingly gradually. But, in Sora's case, he was forgetting too much too soon and the darkness was taking over that poor boy's _soul_. But this really isn't too uncommon… It's been seen before. The thing about Sora was that no matter what we did, the darkness didn't stop, and he couldn't handle it. I mean, it's hard I suppose… But not fatal. It was the force that nearly killed him. There was something in his past… some memory that seemed to be too much for even _him_ to handle. And that's almost unimaginable." Mira explained.

"Like… what, was it something like death? I've heard if someone you really care abo-" Riku began, but Mira cut him off.

"No, no! It was much stronger than death, _much _stronger." Mira exclaimed. Riku stared in blank confusion. "Riku, do you know what the most powerful force in the world is?" Mira questioned.

"Darkness?" he asked in reply. Mira sighed loudly.

"Connections. The connection between two people can be so great that not even darkness can destroy it. I don't really know how to explain it; because it's something I know little about. But Sora had a connection with someone… he had created a bond. But something about him coming here… something about that connection must have gone wrong. You see, if you forget about a person that you are obviously connected to, or if you are separated from them fatefully, than something terrible happens. Something so terrible that I couldn't begin to think of what it might be…" Mira trailed off. "And that's what was happening, that connection was wearing away because Sora was forgetting. His being here wasn't much help either, because he couldn't leave. He made a promise you know…" she trailed off.

"Huh? Oh… You mean, to Kairi, right?" Riku questioned softly. Mira nodded.

"Yes. And that was who he was connected to… that girl. And he promised her that he'd be back someday. Their connection relied on that single promise, but you know once you find this place you can't ever leave. He had no way to get back to her, thus breaking his promise and loosing the connection." Mira spoke. "And that's what was killing him, because he knew it… He knew he had broken his promise, but the only way to keep it was for her to come here. He was too good, to pure to let that happen. So he stuck it out, he let her fade into his memories."

"Wait… how-how come he didn't die? What did you do?" Riku asked urgently. Mira laughed lightly and smiled.

"Well, Kairi, right? Apparently he couldn't forget her, an overriding force… We didn't really save him, I mean; he's still going to die… We just slowed the process down," she spoke quietly.

"But… Hmm." Riku thought lightly. "But Kairi's here now… so… their "connection", isn't it kind of fixed?" he asked. Mira shrugged.

"Well… A broken connection is hard to mend, almost impossible. I-I just don't think it's something that can be done now… it's been too long." She spoke.

"Oh…" Riku sighed as he leaned his head down to the pitch-black floor far beneath his dangling feet. Mira silently swung her legs back and forth as she sat in ceaseless content. "Soooo… what about her, um… Kairi, then? What's her deal?" Riku questioned. Mira perked her head up suddenly.

"Oh, yeeees. The pitiful one. Well… she's kind of like Sora, only her heart is more tainted. But the thing about the connection stands true. She was dying anyway, before she got here… It's almost sad as well, her case. If she had only stayed where she was, she would have lived a much longer life, though I'm not saying it wouldn't be a life full of pain and such. The absence of Sora would have undoubtedly killed her. But, she found him, therefore her life will now be longer than it would have been, except… except she found him _here. _Now Sora still feels for her, but he has been pulled so far into the darkness that I wouldn't give him much longer before it's time for his final requesty there," Mira smiled happily. "Yet… Ka-Katie, ah… Kairi, she's in slightly the same position Sora was in when he got here three years ago. The darkness is taking over her at an unimaginable rate and she'll surely die. Unless-" Mira cut herself off.

"Unless what?" Riku questioned. "Sora does to her what you did to him?" Riku questioned softly. Mira grinned and nodded.

"Exactly."

Riku fell silent for a moment and then brought his finger to his chin in thought. "What did you do to him… anyway?"

"Umm…" Mira thought quietly as she laughed lightly. "He was never quite the same after that… was he?" she questioned.

"You're not going to tell me?" Riku asked in disappointment. Mira snorted.

"Heh. I think you already know," she spoke. Riku eyed her in sudden disbelief. Sure, he had thought about how to taint ones heart in a simple and convenient way that didn't involve death, but he was sure he wasn't thinking of the same way Mira had done it. She was too proficient to do… 'that'. Riku eyed her with a wide grin. "Well? What'd you expect! It was either that, or kill him. Come on, Riku. Honestly tell me that you cannot think of a better way to sinfully taint a _virgin_ heart," Mira laughed. She shrugged and bit her lip as Riku snorted lightly. "I couldn't let him die, Riku…" she grinned.

"Some compassion, eh?" he questioned. Mira gasped.

"Compassion? Heck no… No way in hell!" Mira exclaimed as her eyes went wide. Riku laughed again. "Listen, Riku… If I had let him die… Who knows what would have happened to that girl, Kairi?"

"Nothing… Connections are strong, Mira, but they can't write fate. She wouldn't have died, a piece of her, maybe, but _she_ would have lived, no doubt." Spoke Riku. Mira eyed him curiously.

"Hmm… Since when do you know so much about that, Riku?" Mira asked intently.

"I may be blind… But I'm not a fool. I've lost all of my memories, Mira, but I haven't lost my mind," he grinned. "And connections… connections are something I know a little about."

"Since when?" Mira asked in a high voice. He frowned.

"Since just now, actually…" he replied ponderously. Mira sighed lightly.

"Enlighten me, Riku," she replied slyly. Riku smirked.

"You were right when you said that it's nearly impossible to mend a broken connection, especially one as worn as theirs. But my friend, it _does_ lie within the realm of possibility," Riku smiled. He laughed lightly as he clasped his hands together. "But I wouldn't expect anything from the two of them, there are circumstances at work here beyond our control…"

"What do you mean… The darkness?" Mira questioned.

"It weakens the bonds of their hearts even more, yes. Making it almost completely impos-"

"Almost. But- how could they-?" Mira spoke lightly.

"I'm not entirely sure… but you needn't worry. If it's true what you said, about Sora being close to his demise… and if he's still anything like he ever was, nothing should happen. Their bond should stay broken and their short lives shall carry on." Riku assured. Mira nodded.

"… That is well… But…" Mira began. "But, what would happen if the girl was to die… If Sora disobeys again and refuses to, ah… You know, 'taint her'?" Mira questioned with a snort. Riku sat in thought.

"Well, I would think that Sora would die as well… I mean, it is his fate… And the pain she left behind, you said it is the only tainted memory he knows- ah, knew… correct?" Riku questioned. Mira nodded slowly. "He would die, in time… if not days." Riku replied.

"And what if the girl lives… if Sora does what he has been told. What if she lives and Sora dies. For if she lives, she shall surely live for another good two years… would she die with him?" Mira questioned Riku. Riku sat in ponderous thought. She sighed. "Oh, never mind it, Riku. I know the answer, I am simply testing your intelligence," she spoke. Riku gave a questioning gaze. They both sat in darkened silence for a few moments as Mira swung her legs back and forth.

"She's strong… She'd live. Somehow, I think she'd live." Mira stated lightly. "For awhile, at least."

"What makes you say that?" Riku questioned lightly. Mira sighed.

"She's been here for nearly a week… She's been asleep half the time, but it's in sleep the darkness is more able to spread and grow… It's bizarre," stated Mira flatly. Riku sighed lightly.

"How's it so strange?" he asked. Mira took a deep breath and raised her eyebrows slightly.

"Any normal person… Anyone who is not like Sora… would surely be dead by now. Why, with the force of such pure darkness that is consuming her, I'm surprised she didn't die the first moment she met this place," Mira trailed on.

"What do you mean?" Riku questioned lightly. Mira smiled.

"… She's far more vulnerable than _he_ was because she has already been submitted to four years of her own destined sorrow… You know, his leaving and all. She was already so close to death… Four years of suffering… Though softer suffering than what Sora had to go through, but still suffering nonetheless," Mira spoke. She sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that either her heart is undeniably stronger than any I have ever seen before… Or, because of their strange connection… I think…" Mira paused for a moment and furrowed her brow slightly. "… I think that _he_ keeps her strong."

Riku looked over at Mira, even though he couldn't see her. It sounded so unbelievable… so ridiculously twisted that somehow, he knew she was right. Even a broken connection surly must still be good for something.

Kairi and Sora had always had some sort of connection… some kind of strange bond that no one could ever entirely figure out. It was true. Even in his death Kairi would survive because Sora's will for her to live was still so strong that it hurt. But there was one thing that they were missing… Sora was forgetting. He was losing his memories, the ones of his past, the ones of Kairi. Soon, he would forget about the promise he made, the only tie he still had to their bond. He'd eventually forget how to love… Death cannot break the bond that two people can share _if_ the connection is strong enough, but our memories are the key to that connection. If we lose the key, than what is the bond but eternally broken? Gone… Forever.

* * *

:AN: (clears throat). Ahhhh… Yeeeeeees, there's some stuff in there. Some… There was some stuff that, if you understood it, I am eternally sorry that you understood, I was trying not be blatantly obvious about 'stuff'… Like, not really 'PG' kind of stuff… I'm the type of person who is very… ah… immature…about certain "things"… Yet I write about them... Well... think- OH never mind! If you don't know what I mean and don't recall reading anything that may have 'suggested' things that aren't entirely… ah… good, than that is very good for you and I am sorry you had to read it in this Author's note. Deathly sorry. If you are lost and confused and didn't get anything out of that last chapter hint hint… nvm… then I suggest one of three things: Go read it again, stop reading this story because it sucks, or tell me this chapter sucks and forcefully beat me down with a stick until I rewrite it. Oh, one more thing you can do… You can send me a message asking me any questions you had about this eerily confusing chapter that really does not need to be in this story at all, because who likes understanding things? It's only a very important chapter that foreshadows nearly EVEYTHING that is to come at the longly anticipated end to this awfully bad story. Thank you. OR you can forget about it and pretend you never read this altogether…

Disclaimer: I was lost and confused when I wrote this…

HEY! Oh no! I forgot to put a disclaimer on this story… eeeek! (Goes to jail)

. . . . See yahs in chappie twelve! … w-o-w


End file.
